Unfamiliar Territory
I find myself standing in unfamiliar territory. I have never seen a city on this Side before. Wait … maybe I didn’t go down and am still in Midgard? I feel embarrassed. How did I manage that? I am standing on a sidewalk in what looks like a major eastern city, New York, Toronto, Detroit, Chicago, something like that. I wonder if I ought to just turn back, find my way home.
I wonder if this is just a dream? But it can’t be, it feels like much more. I must have slipped out of my body again, dammit. I am embarrassed again; I really should have better control.
A man walks past me, accompanied by a woman. I overhear their conversation. His wife tries to do too much; the family business is failing as a result. Somehow I know the woman is his sister-in-law, she agrees with him. They worry about money and seem to be very stressed out. I follow them, curious. We enter some kind of diner or small restaurant. It is bustling.
Then I am in the backroom of the diner watching the family argue. The man and his sister-in-law are arguing with… Continue reading
To Be Alone and Useless
One of the biggest parts of my Path and practice has been that of a solitary. By that I don’t mean not being a member of a coven. I mean isolation and loneliness. Feeling cut off or different from everyone else. Not having someone with shared and similar experiences to talk to, let alone practice with.
I do have a few friends here in Ottawa (and other places) who have done some Hedgecrossing. But they have only begun to walk those roads, or have crossed only a handful of times. I have yet to meet another spirit worker, ancestor worshipper, Hedgewalker … like me. I know that they are out there. I see them on documentaries about shamans, I read their books, I read their blogs, and I listen to their podcasts. But face to face conversation, no.
Certainly I’ve met plenty of people who seem to think they know what they are doing. Or who do Hedgecrossing and spirit work. But their Path is still very different. No Tricksters, no dealing with the Dead. Their version of the Stag God is one of grapes and fun and sex. Not raw rutting danger, running blood and rotting flesh.… Continue reading
The Course of My Studies Part Two
(I broke this up so I didn’t lose steam and get bored, then never finish. Here’s a link to the first part)
So I left off the last post in my early twenties. I had just had a major falling out with Wicca and was on a hunt for something else. I was delving into the wonderful world of Celtic spirituality.
So I dove into all things Celtic and even hung out with some Reconstructionists. I considered Druidry but it also was not for me. I did learn a great deal from my Druid and Recon friends however, about scholarship and also about filling in the gaps.
My boyfriend at the time was disinterested in spirituality but for some reason had the book “The Way of the Shaman” by Harner and I borrowed it. Actually, I stole it because I never got around to returning it, bad me. The study of Shamanism fell beautify in place next to my love of anthropology, archaeology and mythology. I read as much as I could, especially on the subjects of Celtic Shamanism and Seiðr magick. More of the Matthews and also some Mircea Eliade, Tom Cowan, Peter Berresford Ellis,… Continue reading
This Old Dream
This is the oldest and longest recurring dream of mine. It began very early in my childhood, possibly as young as 5 or 6 and continued on until my early twenties. Some times it was as frequent as once a week and sometimes I would go a year before it came back again. I have not had this dream for six-ish years now (my gods, has it been that long?). I still often have dreams of a similar nature, but this one has not returned for some time. I thought I might share it with you.
It begins in an unlikely place, a park with a lawn bowling area. I have never in my life lawn bowled. The park resembles Bear Creek Park in Surrey BC, though I do not recall a lawn bowling area there. The lawn bowling area resembles the one found at City Park in Kelowna BC; both parks are ones I am very familiar with since I was a small child. The dream starts with myself watching (mostly elderly dressed in white) people bowl on the lawn.
I find myself drawn to an area to the side of bowling area that is wilder. Scrubby… Continue reading
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