Walking the Hedge » Photos

Arrived

Juniper — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:40:59 +0000

Look what my Mom got me for Yule/Xmas! It arrived today.

Wordless Wednesday: Co- sleeping

Juniper — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:55:24 +0000

Glimmer

Juniper — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 02:57:40 +0000

No related posts.

Still Life

Juniper — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:31:49 +0000

Skinny Girl

Juniper — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:25:29 +0000

I used to be skinny. Downright thin as a rail. NO, I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, though I was constantly accused of such. Being thin just runs in my family. I had a women’s body and a teenage boy’s metabolism. It slowed down, thankfully in my midtwenties.

This is how Nature made me

But from my early teens to my mid-twenties (and sometimes still) I was bullied, abused and attacked for being thin. Surprised? I bet you are. Skinny women are perfect and everyone loves them, we are so attractive right? Well, that what everyone thought. Which is why they were cruel to me.

I’ve had girlfriends be so angry that I fit a size two dress that they stormed out of the store and refused to speak to me ever again.

I’ve had co-workers follow me to the bathroom to see if I purged my lunch,

I’ve had snide remarks and insults thrown my way for ordering a full meal in front of another woman picking at a salad.

I’ve been told that I am not a real women, because real women have curves.

I’ve had women ask me (in front of a whole party) if I had to wear little girl’s training bras.

I’ve had other women throw food at me, because I needed to stop starving myself.

I’ve had men tell me that they wished I had bigger boobs.

In high school and my early adult hood it got so bad that I would come home and cut myself.

But I wasn’t allowed to have body image issues. As a pretty girl with thick curly hair and a skinny body, I was supposed to be perfect and happy. Therefore I had no right to express unhappiness with my body or they way people treated me for having it.

I had no right to complain that it’s hard to find shirts that aren’t too big in the chest.

I had no right to complain that it was hard to find pants that fit, because surely everything is made to fit a size 2-4? (no, it’s not, clothes are meant to fit 6 foot tall skinny girls with boob jobs)

I had no right to complain about being cold or tired.

I had no right to complain about the aches and pains of sleeping on my bones from lack of body fat.

But it’s totally okay for you to single me out and make an example of me.

It’s okay for you to talk, in front of me, about how disgusting skinny girls are.

It’s okay for you make comments about my eating habits.

It’s okay for you to point out how weak I am from not having enough meat on my bones.

It’s okay to lift up my shirt and loudly count my ribs in front of everyone.

And it’s totally okay to pass around images like this one:

Images that say there is something wrong with me. That I am some kind of monstrous freak.

That I am “ewwwww”

This image says that I am ugly, horrible, wrong and not beautiful or sexy. It says that I do not deserve respect or basic human decency.

This image says nothing about how all women are beautiful. It says a certain kind of woman ought to be considered more beautiful than others.

You are swinging the pendulum too far.

You shouldn’t attack skinny girls to build up the non-skinny girls. You don’t need to attack me and make me feel disgusting to make yourself feel good.

Every time you tell a chubby girl that skinny girls are gross, are you thinking about the message you are passing on to the skinny girl who heard you say that?

Stop this shit. Passing around images like this is not funny and it doesn’t fix or help a thing.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

And don’t you ever attack or insult skinny girls in front of me because I will tear you to fucking pieces.

Frigga!

Juniper — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 05:39:44 +0000

This is one of those random feast days where people on the internet are vaguely aware that today might be one of Frigga’s days. Or was that the 7th? It usually sounds/reads like:

“… something, something distaff day”

You can do you own googling and see for yourself.

This just so happen to also be one of those little feast days that I celebrate in some small way. Because Frigga rocks for so many reasons and she deserves a little love from me at least once a year. Also because the 12th of January is two days after my younger brothers birthday and is therefore easy to remember. The winter needs lots of feast and fire days, don’t you think?

I”ll admit that I enjoy the random obscurity of it.

My roomie and I set up a temporary altar on the microwave. Said an invocation, lit a beeswax candle, gave the lady some wine and yummy bread and other goodies. Laid out a spindle, spoons, knives … you know.

I’m about to take down some more of the Yule decorations. One of the evergreen things from the front door. It takes me from Yule to Imbolg to take down the decorations. I like having 6 week to do that.

I might work on my prayer shawl for a little while. I have some writing to do (still recovering from having to recover the PC to a slightly older date due to a virus and loosing some work)

I’ve been quietly mindful of Frigga and her spheres of influence throughout the day.

I’ll read something with her in it, or find that Ravencast episode where they talk about Her.

If it feels right, I might throw the bones (cast my collection) and see if She has anything to say to me.

Pick something, find something happening in the next month or two. Something small, not Thorrasblot or Imbolg, unless you typically don’t observe them.

Here’s a fun, random and obscure Pagan feast day, a modern one. Pour out a nice little offering at your ancestor altar for Dorothy Clutterbuck on her birthday, Janurary 19th. heh