The Ramblings and Wanderings

Posts Tagged ‘dream’

Last night I dreamed that I was on a long, multi-day, chartered bus trip with many of my co-religionists. The hired bus driver was a quiet and professional Muslim.

My fellow bus mates became very upset that the bus driver did not want to make friends and socialize with them. They were angry that he refused to listen to the usual “Pagans are not Satan worshippers, we are good people” spiel.

It go the point that most of them had all piled up at the front of the bus demanding to know why the bus driver wouldn’t accept the fact that Wiccans and Pagans are good people too! “Why didn’t he join us for meals and talk to us?”

The driver kept repeating that he was just a bus driver and it wasn’t his job.

The Pagans grew more and more insistent and upset. Sad and angry the bus driver did not want to be friends or hear about how they are good people. “Why won’t you validate us?’ they cried. “You monotheists are all the same! Judgmental!”

The driver was getting so distracted that the bus began to swerve on the hiway. I climbed my way into the aisle of the bus and hollered at everyone for their attention.

I said:

“Guys, he is just the bus driver. He is a professional. It’s his job to get us home not make friends or learn about the Lord and Lady. He doesn’t give a shit what you believe.”

They all turned and looked at me, pouting. I waved my fist in the air and shouted; “Everyone doesn’t need to accept you! Now quit distracting the driver before you get us all killed! Stupid assholes! Sit down and shut up!”

I am asleep.

I am asleep and have delved into some deep abyss of dreaming far beyond the physical enclosure that is my body.

I dream and know I am dreaming. I glide through a realm of black and blue, soft and delicate as silk, sheer like fine muslin. I dance in the glory of the dreamscape.

Then, a gradual awareness begins to tug at me. I feel my body calling me back to awakening. The most simple and basic need driving me out of my sweet surrender to dreaming: the need to pee.

I float in a spiral pattern upwards and out of the dreamscape towards the light of the morning sun.

I awake and sit, then clamber out of bed, and reach for clothing left out the night before. I find I cannot put it on and I perceive everything is still soft and shrouded in the wrong kind of pale light.

I am still asleep, dreaming of being awake.

I decide to try again to wake.

Again I find myself dreaming of waking, this time stumbling to the bathroom naked. I realise the falseness of my wakefulness as I reach for the bathroom doorknob.

I decide to try again to wake.

I sit up in my bed, and now wary of dreaming of being awake, I quickly realise my still dreaming state.

I loose my patience and attempt to force my body to wake with a wrench and a twist.

I find myself rolling over and sitting on the edge of the bed. There is a different feel to this than dreaming, more real and physical. Yet, it is still not quite right. I rub my hands against the mattress, attempting to ascertain my level of consciousness. I can feel as well as any waking moment the mattress beneath my hands, the seam at its very edge.

The edges of my sight are slightly blurred, my body not as responsive as it should be. I can fully perceive the mattress and its seam though I know my head is not turned to view it. That is not quite right.

I pause for a moment of frustration.

Through experience, I know what to do. I force my self to look at my right upper arm. There I see no tattoo of black thorns adorning it. I reach for my ears and feel no hoops piercing them.

I know what this is.

I twist my astral body around on the bed and gaze at my physical body curled up, under the covers, her back to me. I cannot see it but I can feel the thin lifeline that ties us to each other.

I am not sure if an astral body can sigh in annoyance, but mine tries anyways.

I have a routine now for such occurrences. I move towards my physical form and tug on an ear that should be pierced at the same time and thusly, slip back into my body.

At first I have the sense of being on the inside, moving outwards.

Finally I wake.

Like spring buds opening to take in the warmth of the sun I slowly unfurl my self within myself. Soul within shell. Spreading outwards until reaching finger tip and pinkie toes.

Then at last, I can roll over onto my back. I concentrate on my breath. I attempt to ground and center. I really have to pee.

My dog rubs up against the side of the bed, greeting me, getting in the way as I reach for clothing and then head for the bathroom.

I kiss my man good morning and sit at my desk, staring blankly at the computer screen before me. Now I perceive myself from the outside, looking in.

It will take some time to fully shake the cobwebs away.

Living a life with many states of consciousness can be irritating and confusing at times.

Sometimes, you just wanna wake up and go pee.