The Dawn Chorus
We slip into the night, my dog and I.
The city is quiet, the neighbourhood is sleeping. Gone are the city sounds of traffic and blaring TVs. I can hear the crickets chirp and the wind in the trees. I can hear the river as it passes over scoured stone.
The street is lit by street lights, garden lights and the waning moonlight. I can see the stars tonight.
Our street is cooled by the night breeze and a rain storm that passed by hours before.
Surrounded by people, we are alone.
Crash takes off for her favourite corner, where the big rose bush blooms and the weedy mustard whispers of wilder places. I gently stroke the pink roses and a few petals are given up to me. I murmur my thanks. Crash gives her water to the shrubbery and weeds.
We turn and head for the river. As we get closer, the old dog’s ears prick. She wiggles with excitement. She loves the river. She races ahead, through the green park, under maple trees and to the promenade. The poor old thing is too short to see over the concrete banister that blocks her… Continue reading
Flavour of the Month: Secrets!
One of the big topics going around Witch-y blogs this month is secrecy and how much you share.
I come across as much more Pagan-ish on my blog … because a lot of the Witch-y stuff just doesn’t get mentioned **at all** As if it does not exist. Which is tough when I’m accused of not being a Witch, because of the Pagan stuff being the most prominent. It’s easy to take the bait and get upset by that. But if certain spirits and certain practices can’t be talked about on a blog, well then that’s the price I pay!
I have a hard time with keeping quiet and keeping secrets. I’ve had a good talking to from my Hedge gals (and certain spirits and such) over that. I have no guile. It doesn’t come naturally.
I WANT to share, for a lot of reasons. One main reason is because I am BAD at not sharing. Damn my glass face, open personality and tendency to trust everyone. Another reason is loneliness and feeling isolated. Another reason is the need to serve and be useful and helpful.
Another reason (one of the main reasons why I started this blog in the… Continue reading
Should Not Have Done That
Okay so, last week, I broke down and installed the plug-in for wordpress that tells you how many people read your blog, how many hits a blog post gets each day, what search words make people find you and so forth.
This was a mistake.
I am now having a fucking anxiety attack. HUNDREDS of people read my blog everyday!!!! Can’t breathe! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
I am seriously considering un-installing the bloody thing. Cause I totally should not have done that. It was stupid. Now I’m scared and paranoid. And I don’t understand. WHY ME? I’m NOT special!! GAH!
Okay. Okay. I can totally do this. It’s going to be alright.
*whimpers*
Soooo … uh, yeah. Heh. Hi there … everyone. How are you?
*scuffles feet*
Uhhh… yeah. *cough*
Now I’m afraid to write stuff.
*hides*
Worlds in my World
As in fictional universes … These are the ones that I have lived in or am currently living in. How do I know if you are a nerd? If you got the whole “worlds I live in” thing or not.
Star Trek (duh!) I swear that growing up, Spock, Kirk and Bones were like my uncles. The TNG crew as well, of course.
Star Wars. Damn you, young and sexy Harrison Ford!
The Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffery. The first set of books on the list … many, many, many books. This series is massive and long lived. Not only have I lived in the books but also in the online role-playing community and fan fiction. If you ever want to see me in full on nerd form, just start talking Pern. There was a time when I could rattle off the math for how many Queens must lay how many eggs each turn for a Weyr to keep at full fighting strength during a Pass … of course that depends on which Weyr because some have more weyrs than others. Oh yeah.
“Lessa woke, cold. Cold with more than the chill of the everlasting clammy… Continue reading
Unworthy of Love
All I ever wanted was to be loved
As a child I would lay on my bed
Press my back against the wall
And pretend there was someone spooning me
Holding me
Why am I so unworthy of love?
What crimes have I committed?
What have I done or not done?
I am loyal to the bone
I’m not smelly or ugly
I can cook
I am fun
But no one wants me
What’s wrong with me?
Why am I so unworthy of love?
I give my heart fully, utterly
And it gets handed back to me
Like some unwanted piece of trash
I see other women who are not as nice
Not as smart
Not as pretty
Not as kind
And they have love
Husbands
Why not me?
What’s wrong with me?
Why doesn’t anyone love me?
I’d do anything for love
Move across country
Give you everything
So long as I can still be me
But they don’t want me
They send me packing
What’s wrong with me?
Why am I so unworthy of love?
Why can’t I wake up knowing
That the man in my bed isn’t going?
I have asked the gods for love
Time and… Continue reading
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