Posts Tagged ‘About Juniper’

This last Friday myself and Lady N were in charge of leading the Lughnasadh ritual for our Hedge Group. Lady N is newer to the Path (and thus doesn’t have mountains of ritual tools) and I am a terrible pack rat, who also just happened to be in possession of the Hedge’s Ritual Toolbox (or box o’ ritual tools and candles and stuff). Therefore, I found myself spending much of the afternoon beforehand going through the Ritual Toolbox, my own collections of items, making a list and checking it twice.

One item was nearly forgotten. This is the red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth I’ve had in storage for ages. Having been going through a phase these last couple of years I like to call my “The dirt is a great place for setting up my altar and to practice my rituals on because I am a hardcore Hedgewitch phase” my red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth has been sitting forlornly in storage for some time. I did remember it right before I left on Friday; as I figured this would be a good contribution to the groups’ Ritual Toolbox. I also felt kind of bad for neglecting the poor thing. So on my way out the door I pulled it, still folded, out of its place of storage and stuck it in the Ritual Toolbox.

After promising Brendan various sexual favours if he helped me get everything to the park without breaking, we arrived well before everyone else at the appointed place. I had planned to be there a good hour before the other members so that I could have everything set up and be all grounded and ready for their arrival. I talked Bren into hauling a large stone into the South to act as a hearthstone for my thurnble (thingy you burn stuff in) and then I decided the best thing to do was pull out the altar cloth and lay everything out on it so I could decide what will go where. This was also necessary as the Ritual Toolbox doubles as a Portable Altar, so you have to have everything carefully removed from the Ritual Toolbox and the lid closed before you can set up the Portable Altar.

So, I gently pried open the wicker top of the Ritual Toolbox that doubles as a Portable Altar and unfurled the red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth. Which was to my horror, covered in DOG HAIR and LINT!!! Oh, the humanity! This is no doubt due to having spent the last couple of years in storage at my mother’s house where she fosters rescue dogs. I can only blame ADD for the reason why it did not occur to me that a red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth that had been stored in such a way might be covered in lint and dog hair.

All the contents of my purse and bag were then unceremoniously dumped on to the grass as I flailed about hoping beyond hope that I might just maybe have a lint brush or even some duct tape amongst my belongings. But alas, I did not. I tried rubbing the cloth vigorously to remove the offending grey lint and dog hair but to no avail. I shook it out repeatedly as Bren watched on unsympathetic to my plight.

Alas, nothing was going to remove the copious amounts of lint and dog fur covering the red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth. Especially the lint, which mocked me most cruelly, it said “Ha ha! Fancy yourself capable of handling a Priestess’s duties do you? You fool! Everyone will see how incompetent you really are now!”

I could have simply not used the altar cloth at this point; I could have given it to Brendan to take home with him. But I refused to be defeated by lint and certainly not to sarcastic, mocking lint! “There’s no use for it” I said to Brendan, “I will have to arrange the tools in such a way as to cover the worst of the lint.”

Brendan is a wise man and kept his mouth shut, though he did raise an eyebrow.

So I cleverly placed the lint covered red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth upon the Ritual Toolbox that doubles as a Portable Altar in such a way that the least-linty area was positioned on the very top. Then I curled the ends under and tucked them against the Portable Altar to hide them.

After strategically arranging the ritual tools upon the lint covered red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth I then sprinkled dried herbs and flowers all over the damned thing to fill in the space and hide the offending lint. Luckily, the ritual called for large quantities of dried herbs, leaves and flowers and had I brought extra. Taller ritual tools were placed on the ground around the Portable Altar and leaning against it, which also helped to hide the evil lint of death.

With an amused Bren looking on I waved my fist at the Sun, demanding that it sink quickly so as to help hide the evil lint of death from sight.

Just then, I heard voices! The other members of the Hedge were arriving. Would they notice? Would they laugh at me? Mock my ability as a Priestess? Would they ban me forever from the group for daring to bring a lint covered red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth to ritual?

No!

My cunning ass-covering worked like a charm. Instead the ladies gathered around and actually admired the beauteous creation that was my altar set up. They said things like “You have raised the bar for all of us with this” and they weren’t making snide, sarcastic fun of me either. They meant it!

One of them was so impressed with how lovely and elegant my altar was she took pictures. If you would like to see these pictures you will have to go to the As Within Blog, make nice comments on said blog, and ask Lis politely to make a blog post with the pictures. If you do just enough ass-kissing maybe she might be swayed to do so.

Of course, the lint covered red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth wound up back in the Ritual Toolbox that doubles as a Portable Altar, which was then handed over to the next person to Priestess a ritual. I really should have snagged the lint covered red (probably real, but may not be) velvet altar cloth and took it home so no one would be the wiser. I can just see her getting home, planning the ritual, opening up the Ritual Toolbox that doubles as a Portable Altar and saying to herself “Why the fuck is this thing covered in lint and dog hair?!”

Forever hiding the flop sweat,

Juniper

Well we are back from Fest and somewhat recovered. I will get my workshop on Building Your Own Personal Divination System up in the next day or so, as well as the additional info I promised.

We recorded about 3 hours worth of stuff for the podcast so we hope to start editing that soon.

I will also start catching up on blog posting and the Wild geek Hang (the forum) and get the calendar creation into action as well.

Cheers!

I will be away for about a week as Bren and I are off to Kaleidoscope Gathering. Bren has a couple of workshops, a ritual drama to run and a concert and i am also involved in a couple of workshops. Plus there’s volunteering and vending to be done!

Crash the dog will be coming with us as part of a pilot project for allowing dogs at the fest. So please folks, don’t pet the dogs without permission and keep your puppies on leash

We will be bringing our recording device for the podcast with us and hope to get lots of content for the podcast.

I won’t be around to post on the forum but moderators will be lurking. People are always so well behaved at the Wild Geek Hang anyways!

In the mean time, here are some articles, essays, blog posts and even videos worth checking out:

Channeling Deity vs. Regressive Trance

Archaeologists have discovered a second henge at Stonehenge

Land Spirits, Ancestors and Gods, Oh My!

Practice Practice Practice Daily or Regularly

When The Drummers Were Women

Sacred Weeds

An American Witch Bottle

HedgeCrossing

Care for the caregivers

The Private Life of Plants

Zen: The Best of Alan Watts

Pagan Roots in the West

They meet at the appointed place and time

And greet each other warmly with a smile

Up the hill and into the woods they climb

Down winding trails they walk in single file

*

Passing under maple trees, oaks and birches

Entering a hawthorn grove they slowed

Where three paths meet stood three witches

And prepared for a ritual at the crossroad

*

With candles carefully lit they begin the rite

Tentatively they start to drum and chant

Voices raised in celebration well into the night

With gratitude for gifts the gods do grant

*

Then the lights go out and into darkness they gaze

Quietly they call to the spirits and then they lay

The forest turns into a dark and ghostly haze

Witches whisper with delight and watch the fae

*

Prayers are said and magick spoken

But soon its time to pack up and head home

Offerings given as some small token

Three witches always sisters wherever they roam

How can finding the right thing to say

Be so simple?

Words drip from their lips

Like flawless pearls

My mouth is full of marbles

The right thing to do

Seems as bright and clear as day

As they move gracefully

And with an inborn ease

While I stammer and stumble with each step

The right thing to wear and the perfect hair

Adorn their elegant bodies

Complimenting style and finesse

Eyebrows delicately raised in response

To my failed attempts at dignity

Did they have mothers

Who were just as refined?

Who taught them manners and propriety

Until it became as natural as breathing?

I cannot help but wonder

If only I had a mother capable of tact

Would I socialize with such

Utter nimbleness?

Intelligent conversation

Sails past my ears

Their words never take a wrong turn

As I struggle not to misspeak

To not interrupt or repeat

Mindless pleasantries surround me

I struggle to maintain a smile

Grateful that they deign

To tolerate my ineptness

At least for a little while

Then I take that inevitable misstep

Exposing my clumsiness

I cringe and shudder

As they cluck their tongues

Gossip behind my broken back

Speak over my bowed head

And assume only the worst intent

Silent tears slip unempathized

Down my burning cheeks

As I silently wish I had just half

Of their shine and polish

Excuse me please

Which way to the can?

I think I am about to have an anxiety attack