The Ramblings and Wanderings

Archive for the ‘Everything Else’ Category

Last night I dreamed that I was on a long, multi-day, chartered bus trip with many of my co-religionists. The hired bus driver was a quiet and professional Muslim.

My fellow bus mates became very upset that the bus driver did not want to make friends and socialize with them. They were angry that he refused to listen to the usual “Pagans are not Satan worshippers, we are good people” spiel.

It go the point that most of them had all piled up at the front of the bus demanding to know why the bus driver wouldn’t accept the fact that Wiccans and Pagans are good people too! “Why didn’t he join us for meals and talk to us?”

The driver kept repeating that he was just a bus driver and it wasn’t his job.

The Pagans grew more and more insistent and upset. Sad and angry the bus driver did not want to be friends or hear about how they are good people. “Why won’t you validate us?’ they cried. “You monotheists are all the same! Judgmental!”

The driver was getting so distracted that the bus began to swerve on the hiway. I climbed my way into the aisle of the bus and hollered at everyone for their attention.

I said:

“Guys, he is just the bus driver. He is a professional. It’s his job to get us home not make friends or learn about the Lord and Lady. He doesn’t give a shit what you believe.”

They all turned and looked at me, pouting. I waved my fist in the air and shouted; “Everyone doesn’t need to accept you! Now quit distracting the driver before you get us all killed! Stupid assholes! Sit down and shut up!”

I owe you guys a post! Its been a while since I wrote some long, rambling, scattered rant so here ya go:

In my opinion the universe (or should I say multiverse) is just to dammed big and complicated for statements like “there is no such thing as luck”

It’s a great big multiverse and we’re all really puny, we’re just tiny little specks … its big and black and inky and we’re all really dinky. It’s a BIG multiverse and we’re not.

Perhaps it’s the pluralists or shamanic practitioner in me, but I cannot conceive of a multiverse where luck, coincidence, fate, destiny, force of will, personal responsibility, social responsibility, divine presence, divine will and a million other factors do not exist all at once. The black and white thinking where we see all or nothing, or one or the other just doesn’t make sense to my mind. I believe in fate and luck, I believe in personal power and responsibility and all the other things all together. I believe there are factors involved in the operation of the worlds (deliberate plural worlds there) and more forces at work than we could ever be fully aware of at any given moment or even over the course of one single century long lifetime.

I am uncomfortable with blanket statements such as “there is no fate” or “there is no luck” the human mortal mind is just too simple and too small to fully comprehend the wizard behind the curtain. We can barely perceive that there is a curtain.

I do believe that we create our own reality, not in the sense of the Secret, but in the sense that we are responsible for how we choose to perceive things and deal with them.

I agree that we are often more responsible for the things that happen to us than we often think we are, or can see as it is happen to us.

However I refuse to believe that only we are responsible for the goings on in our lives. That we cause these things by being “closed or “open” or through thought or visualization… or even through our actions and words. I will agree that often these things are a factor, even a major factor. But I cannot accept that they are the only cause.

I refuse to accept any claim that we cause everything that happens in our lives to happen.

I will not believe that any child being raped has brought about her abuse upon herself in any way shape or form. No child is personally responsible for being raped. As an adult that child will be responsible for her own healing, yes, but never should that child ever be considered responsible for what was done to her.

When people claim that it’s all a matter of personal responsibility they do so without thought for the child being molested. They do so without thought for the woman helplessly watching her son be executed by a guerrilla militia, they do so without thought for the people swept away in a tsunami.

To make such a blanket, black and white statement as everything is a matter of choice and personal responsibility makes as much sense in my mind as to say that the people in Haiti really DID cause the earthquake to happen to them by practicing Voodoo. It relies on a similar kind of logic.

The multiverse does not fit into boxes. It cares nothing for our definitions or attempts at explaining its myriad of processes. The forces of the worlds, both seen and unseen cannot be understood, let alone articulated by your or I. We cannot even begin to comprehend them.

Therefore I wholeheartedly reject all blanket statements such as “there is no such thing as luck”

It’s easy to say things like “everything is a matter of personal responsibility” and “there’s no such thing as luck” when sitting in an air conditioned home in one of the safest neighbourhoods in North America. Try farming…try simple living, try living in such a way that something as fickle and unpredictable as a hail storm can mean the difference of having enough food to eat and enough money to support you through winter.

30 trips around the Sun!

1) I often have to drag my large, heavy and awkward work gear onto the bus. Whenever the bus is being driven by a man, he “kneels” or lowers the bus to make it easier for me to board and disembark.

Female bus drivers never do this, not ever. Even if I ask them too the response is something along the lines of “Oh you’re fine” or “You’re a strong girl, you can do it” in a rather annoyed or even disgusted tone of voice.

2) Sometimes I drop my large, heavy and awkward work gear. Sometimes I wipe out on my bike. Sometimes I struggle to drag something like my work gear or my bike up steep staircases.

I never ask for help, but if another person is around they will usually respond to my “distress”.

Almost always a man or boy will stop to help me. Women however never help me and will tell me “You’re a strong girl, you can do it” if they acknowledge my presence at all. Actually often they are annoyed that I am taking up space on the sidewalk or taking too long to get up the stairs, I guess they are in a hurry eh?

And they say chivalry is dead.

Stuff like this makes me wonder if I am a bad feminist for wanting or accepting, assistance.

It also makes me wonder why women do not help each other more. Do we feel we have to prove that we are strong girls and can do it? Do we feel the need to force other women to prove they are strong girls too?

3) A fellow whose blog I read related a story of how a few days ago he was walking home from the store. Feeling quite happy and somewhat childlike that day, he hopped, skipped and danced most of his way home. He jumped over a planter or two, and even did a cartwheel.

This fellow is a large and muscular young man, who was wearing shorts and had taken his shirt off as the weather was warm.

After accidentally knocking over a planter that he had jumped over, he was stopped by the police who demanded to know what the hell he thought he was doing? His attempts at explaining that he was just having some fun were not enough for the police. He was handcuffed and driven home by the police who told him he needed to cool off, as his behaviour (skipping and jumping) was erratic and potentially dangerous.

I like to hop, skip and jump. I often hop onto park benches, jump over planters on the sidewalk and balance along the edge of retaining walls. I like to do cartwheels. I have accidentally knocked over planters. However, I would never be handcuffed and brought home by the police for such behaviour, for I am a small and cute young woman.

4) The other day I dragged my work gear onto the bus. I had a large and awkward slab of plastic (that unfolds into a table) and my wheel-about full of heavy objects. Along one side of the front of the bus were Moms and their children’s strollers.

Sitting in the courtesy or compassion seats on the other side of the front of the bus were two men. A young man and middle aged man. The courtesy seats are for disabled people, people with strollers and people with large and awkward objects. There are signs all over the place stating as such and telling more able bodied riders to give up these seats if need be. The rest of the bus was about half full.

It was obvious that getting past the strollers with my work gear was going to be very difficult. It was also obvious that I counted as someone who needed the courtesy seating.

I caught the eye of the young man, who was closest to me and asked him if I could please steal his seat? He looked away and pretended he could not hear me.

The middle aged man was looking right at me, so I asked him if I could please have his seat, as I am burdened with heavy objects and don’t want to bash the strollers by accident. He unfocused his eyes and looked right through me, saying nothing.

“Alright then” I said, “If you are going to pretend I don’t exist, I will just have to run over your feet!”

So I did, making sure to press down on their toes with my wheel-about and bashing their shins with it was well as I went past. The young man tried to pretend nothing was happening, perhaps concerned about being “cool”. The middle aged man looked quite shocked and tried to get his sandalled feet out the way … but failed. Neither said anything as I did my best to leave them with some nice bruises for the rest of the day.

Once past them I looked up and glared menacingly at the other passengers on the bus. One man quickly gave up his window seat to me and sat beside someone else. I thanked him kindly.

The men on the bus looked shocked and surprised and a little bit scared of me. I guess being a strong girl is a little bit frightening to some men still.

The women on the bus were all hiding smiles, a few even made eye contact and openly grinned at me. “You go girl!” their smiles said. I guess so long as I prove I’m a strong girl who can do it, I’ll be getting those smiles.

Just a few of the things going on in my life right now:

Working on the 2011 Walking the Hedge calendar and day planner

The Wheel of the Year image for the Northern Hemisphere version

Writing that book I’ll never finish

Getting ready to turn 30 at the end of the month

Hosted the Witch & Stitch Circle at my house

Here's me getting ready (note my feet)

Working on the podcast

Writing the next blog post in the series on feminism and womanhood

Decided it was time to do a little re-vamping and re-dedicating of my Bag of Bones (and stones and sticks and things) I use for divination, also working on writing a blog post about that

Dem bones enjoying a little sunshine

Being a troublesome moderator, over at Bren’s forum

Troubleshooting bugs over at the Hedge

Working in the garden (stay tuned for blog post and pics about that)

Grieving my horse Morgan, who was mauled by a bear (at the family farm) and had to be put down, as well as hoping a beagle named Lacey (also at the family farm) comes home and isn’t lost forever

She was so young and pretty

I hope everything is good in your lives folks!

I’d like to thank everyone who has sent me a blog award in the last month or so. When I first discovered blog awards I though they were fun and cute. Its great to give other’s a pat on the back for their efforts now and then, really!

However, the way they get around, and the sheer amount of them is too much for this lazy witch. As such, I decided to make this blog awards free. Instead, I will link to blogs, podcasts and website (ect) that I think are AWESOME every now and then in dedicated posts. Sans the cute little graphic and the required “Post 5 things about yourself” and without the chain letter-ness.

Maybe I’ll make a point of mentioning a few favourites on the podcast now and then as well … when I feel like it.

*hugs*