1)      Grey is not an idiot

2)      Grey is not interested in recreational drugs and getting high (that’s my job in our household)

3)      Grey is not a newbie

4)      Grey is doing it for all the right reasons

Grey is a Hearthwitch, so ointment was the way to go. Hearthwitches like making things on the stove.  Since Grey is an experienced Witch with brains in her head, I acted more as a consultant in her quest to make ointment.  I directed her to some books on my shelf and talked about the various possibilities for ingredients, rituals and such. Then I left her to her research.

For the whole of the winter she studied, took notes, asked questions and weighed her options. She considered her purpose, contemplated symbolism, meditated, talked it out with her spirits … you know, all the things you’re supposed to do before you take your first step on the poison path.

When All snakes Day (such as it is) rolled around, she purchased a duck and brought it home. Appropriate offerings were made before she skinned it. I gave her my sharp knife to use, because it’s better than our regular kitchen knives for such purposes. I went to bed while she was still rendering fat. The smell of the duck fat filled the house and I wound up closing my bedroom door and spraying my bed with scent to cover it up, just so I could get some sleep. I’m not a fan of bird-cooking aromas.

The next morning, Grey was ready to start making the actual ointments. I ran about our house, digging through various boxes and shelves for the dried plant matter and red ochre to be used. I am not an organized Witch. Half my stuff will be in the basement, the other half in the Craft room, whatever.

I had advised Grey that colouring your ointment makes it easier not only to place it on your body using sigils and symbols, but also much easier to get it off afterwards. You know, because it can clearly be seen upon your skin. We already had red ochre in the house, and it’s a personal favourite. And … well you know, red ochre. (If you don’t know, you should know, so go learn about red ochre.)

We sained the herbs, made offerings and I left Grey to mind the hearth while I went exploring the woods near our home with a boy. After dinner (we ate most of the duck), the ointments were placed in their cute little jam jars.

There are two batches made and ready to go. One is a mild version which will be good for someone who has never used entheogens before. The other is for the more experienced Witch in the house. No, you aren’t getting our recipes.

A few days later we packed up a few items that needed to be given to the land. This included a broken goddess statue (I leave a trail of broken goddess statues), a couple of old offering dishes and the bones of the duck.

We headed out to the bit of urban forest near our home and found just the right spot along the creek, a place that I had come across while on a hike with a friend a few days earlier. I had seen the spot in summers before but from the other side of the creek. This spot features a nice little whirpool right at the curve of the creek.

While Grey lit some incense and took off her shoes, I (rather unceremoniously) tossed the pieces of the broken goddess statue. Then I broke my old clay offering dishes (I’m a Celt, you’re supposed to break things and put them in water) and threw those in as well. Grey waded in a little ways and said some nice words, then placed the duck’s remains into the whirlpool, along with some rose petals.

We watched the bits Grey had given swirl around. My offerings, being pottery, had sunk and will eventually become part of the creek bottom. Some of the pieces of duck and such did float around however. I stood there watching the pieces float around and around and found myself thinking how this would be the perfect place for the toad bone rite (not that I have any desire to do it). One large, white object kept swirling around and coming back to us. I pointed it out the first and then the second time it came by. Reluctantly, Grey pulled it out as it made the second pass. We were both somewhat relieved when it turned out to be nothing more than some random garbage. It must have gotten dislodged when I was tossing in my heavier pieces into the creek.

Our work done, and Grey’s shoes put back on, we climbed the hill back home.

Patch tests have been done. Plans have been made. Many preliminary offerings have gone to the gods, spirits and ancestors all through out this week. Everything is set.

This weekend, we will take turns watching over the other while we cross the great hedge. For myself, this will be yet another jaunt and I may or may not share with you. For Grey, this is will something of an initiation. Her experiences will certainly not be any of your businesses, dear readers.

EDITED TO ADD: Just an FYI all ingredients are perfectly natural, ethically gotten, and totally legal. Don’t be an idiot, folks.

Related posts:

1. Path Reading for a Client
2. To Fly By Night
3. A Few Things That Work (and other things)

You see, she had spent the year or two (or more) being harassed by what we shall call a (demon) nasty asshole spirit. She hadn’t done anything in particular to attract such a beastie. She’s not sure when it found her, but she thinks it started with nightmares that kept her up at night and by the end of it, she was a mess. Depression, lack of sleep, couldn’t really eat. The joy of life being sucked out of her, strange obsessions and compulsions. The constant feeling of being watched.

It wasn’t a mental illness, it wasn’t a physical illness and she wasn’t playing games or looking for attention.

She searched high and low for help and found none. She lives in a large-ish city in the USA, a city with a thriving Pagan community. Yet, there was no help for her there. She went to bookshops and asked for help. She went to Meet & Greet Coffee Cauldron type events and found no help. She went to the local teaching coven and found no help. She went to the ADF grove and found no help (they told her to pray away the pain). She asked around for help, advice, a book recommendation, anything.

She went to her parents, who took her to a doctor, who said it was just the stress of her first year at college.

Finally after begging around for help for more than a year, someone suggested she contact a shamanic practitioner in a neighbouring town. He took one look at her and KNEW something was not right. He helped her chase away the asshole spirit who was hurting her, who was driving her into insanity.

What she wanted to know from me was why. Why did no one help her? She feels as if she must have spoken to every single out Pagan, Heathen and Witch in her community before someone pointed her in the right direction. WHY? Why did they leave her twisting in the wind?

I wanted to answer her and it took a while. There are many answers to this question, because different people would not (or could not) help for different reasons.

This is something that I have struggled with myself to a certain extent. Not because I have dealt with being harassed or abused by a nasty asshole spirit in the manner that this young woman was. I have never had a demon try to groom me for possession. I have however, been hounded by my own spirits. Also, I was once a young woman dealing with an unhealthy and abusive family situation, various untreated learning disabilities and anxiety … and found no help.

So in no particular order here’s why it might be hard to find help if you are being called to shamanize, being hounded by spirits, dealing with a curse or being harassed or abused by some nasty asshole spirit (etc). For the record I tend to use the term spirit to mean ANY and/or ALL of the unseen.

If you ask around, there are a lot of people who don’t really believe in the “woo stuff”. That’s why we call it the woo stuff. There are a lot of agnostic, atheist and archetypal folks in our … (oh, whatever we are calling it, or not calling it, now) our religious body/community/whatever. So a kid dealing with unseen awfulness, who does the right thing by asking around for help, might run into a bunch of people who don’t believe that what is happening to her is even really, real. Not really. Really?

This doesn’t make them bad people, they just don’t believe. This makes them a poor source of help however. Though they might be able to suggest a book … or website, or something. It’s no skin of their nose, right? Right?

There are also plenty of people who don’t really believe in mental illness (or neurological disorders or learning disabilities etc) either. People who think depression, addiction, or anxiety are not real illnesses. You just have to suck it up. I tell someone that I have social anxiety and ADHD (that I have been working on for the better part of a decade, thanks) and the majority of the time the response I get is an eye roll and a condensing look. Excuses, excuses.

I recall an article on Witchvox years ago wherein the author berates lazy, young Pagans for not meditating as often as they should. At one point she made sarcastic remarks about ADHD. It seems she was some kind of teacher of the Craft. Who resented having young people with neurobiological disorders ask her for extra help because their disorder made things like meditation more difficult.

This is exactly the kind of attitude you will run into when you tell people in the Pagan community that you think you are being hounded by spirits or being cursed (etc).

The reaction I used to get when I was dealing with my first visionary and shamanic experiences were the eye roll, the condescending look. Hell, try talking about being god-owned in a mixed group of Pagans. The eye rolls, the condescending looks.

Try talking about hardcore, old school, folkloric Witchcraft. Folks will say “Oh no one actually works with piss and blood and sticks pins in things. No one does that old stuff, anymore.” (I can personally attest to the fact that this notion is wrong. Would you like to meet my blasting rod? Or see what I put into spell bottles?)

They don’t believe. Even if they think these things are possible, they certainly don’t believe it’s happening to you.

Not everyone does it, but there are some who believe that kids and newbies don’t know what they are talking about. In a way they don’t; they probably lack the vocabulary to know how to express what’s happening to them. If we assume that someone if a layman, we can assume that they might not know what they are dealing with or how to express what is happening.

A kid who is being abused in her sleep by a nasty asshole demon-type might call it a ghost or poltergeist or a boogeyman. It’s like how they used to misdiagnose women who were having heart attacks because women describe their symptoms differently from the (male written) medical text books. Hell, terminology games pisses me off. I’ve resorted to defiantly calling everything spirits most of the time now.

They might assume that you are looking for attention or putting on teenager theatrics. Everybody is guilty of making this assumption at some point. We all look back at ourselves at that age and think about how “stupid” we were, right? Then we project that onto to other people.

It wouldn’t be surprising for someone to think that you have a bad case of “newbie thinks she’s been cursed”. Once again a newbie or kid not knowing what is going on might think she is cursed. Yes, most of the time if you think you’ve been cursed you haven’t been cursed. Sometimes (rarely) it means that you have been. It could also mean that some spirit is hurting you. You don’t know what it is; you just know something is terribly wrong. You may think that you have been cursed or are being haunted.

Basically, you might know something is wrong but not know the exact nature of what is wrong. Therefore, you can’t properly describe what’s wrong when seeking help. Gosh, can you imagine how hard that must be?

A lot of Pagans, well meaning as they may be, are deaf, blind and dumb. They don’t see or feel or sense the spirit world. They have no real concept of the otherside. How can they help if they are blind to it? They can’t. There’s a fabulous story that Lon Milo DuQuette tells about how once he lead a workshop on Circle casting and parting the Veil. It scared the hell out of some poor woman. Because despite having practiced for years, she had never actually felt anything before! This is startlingly common.

If you find someone who is willing to listen, someone who believes that something might be going on with you, they might not be able to help. Most of us stick to the lighter side of things if you catch my drift. Most folks just don’t go down that road. They don’t have the tools to help you. The trouble with the Harm None ethos is that it means no one knows how to chase off a bully. They might have a dozen ways to create a shield or ward a room, but to actually go toe to toe with some nasty little brownie? Most Pagans, Heathens and (sadly) Witches, have no idea how to even begin such an operation.

Many people don’t want to get involved, because they have a reputation to protect. What if people found out that Lady Name Dropper actually has no clue how to handle a nasty asshole spirit? What if Lord Training Coven tried to help but had to admit defeat? What if he made things worse? What if Lady I’m So Dignified was caught in such an embarrassing situation as actually trying to help the weird goth girl with her spirit problem? GASP!

We don’t like weirdos, freak, geeks or crazy people and you look like one. Whether you are being hounded by your own spirits, being harassed by a nasty spirit or being horribly cursed by someone, it can look a lot like what you need is a doctor. These things can cause (or trigger) depression and anxiety and insomnia. Or maybe you just look like a weirdo with your greasy unkempt hair and your odd clothing and glassy eyes.

Most of the books out there that talk about things like (for example) receiving the call to shamanize, will mention that many become ill but don’t typically mention how. What kind of illness. It’s kind of vague.

When someone is wasting away, losing their shit or can’t get out of bed (etc) we usually assume that it’s something a doctor ought to deal with. Because you should see a doctor and all (that should be one of the first things you do), but sometimes there’s something else going on.  The trouble is that to the observer, it can look like just a bad case the blues or the flu (or depression or anorexia or…)

I wasn’t even close to ready when I got the call. I was stupid and I forced it too damned early. I was clever enough, and had been practicing long enough (about 6 years), to know that it was probably inevitable. But young and brash enough to loose patience and go chasing after it. I’ve written about the experience a bit before. I over indulged in some potent flying ointment and meet up with the spirits that I was familiar with at the time. I demanded things that I had no right to ask for, things I hadn’t earned, and got my fuckin’ ass kicked for it.

It was rather like barging into someone’s home because you have a crush on them and then seeing that they are into some really kinky shit. Getting freaked, running out of the house thinking it was all a big mistake. And then they decide to stalk you.

I was in my early twenties. I had punk hair and pale skin. I wore raggedy clothes than didn’t match and didn’t fit right. I had bags under my eyes. I was naught but skin and bones. I have a big tattoo on my arm. I had body piercings at the time. I wore the dreaded and offensive oversized pentacle around my neck. No one was going to help the likes of me.

Certainly not in 2001 when everyone was hating on us kids who had discovered Paganism in the 1990s.  Do you remember? We were just addicted to Charmed and Buffy and had watched The Craft too many times. How dare we call ourselves Witches or Wiccans or Pagans? We were all just a bunch of fluffy bunnies! We were ruining Paganism with our solitary eclectic ways and our Doc Martins and purple hair! It was cool to hunt fluffy bunnies, cool to pick on newbies, people were proud of themselves for being assholes to us.

There was no way that I was being called, struggling to deal with Mysteries greater than I could wrap my young mind around, or under going initiation by spirits and gods. Nope. I was just some punk ass kid. Just another annoying solitary, eclectic, wannabe making up stories. The “wise” grey hairs turned their backs on me.

How dare you ask about spirit work and otherworld travel and repairing missing soul parts and being a horse for a god and all that stuff? How dare I ask about parting the Veil and hedgecrossing and how to do battle with a spirit? That’s second degree stuff at least. You aren’t allowed to know that. You are not worthy of my knowledge! It must be so nice to belong to a tradition that expects you to just stand there and let a kid drown because throwing them a life preserver would be revealing initiatory mysteries. I’d really like someone to explain how they justify that?

I was on my own.

I was in my early twenties. I had pale skin. I had bags under my eyes. I was naught but skin and bones. I wasn’t sleeping, I was always cold. My body ached. I went from always being early for work, performing well and making great money to failing miserably at my job. Things that had seemed pretty minor once I escaped the horror of high school, like my ADHD or Dyscalculia, sudden reared their heads and got much, much worse. Stuff form my childhood kept coming up. I started self isolating. I didn’t want to do anything but sleep. Allergies I never had before suddenly flared up. My relationship started a slow decline. Then I started having anxiety attacks.

To some I looked like another newbie trying to get attention. To some I looked like I was a head case or maybe a junkie (I was accused of such). To some it looked I needed a doctor or a therapist (I got both). To some it looked like I was trying to cheat or find a short cut to the knowledge that they hoard like jealous dragons. What I really needed was help or a mentor or someone to throw me a scrap of insight or encouragement (I got none of that).

I didn’t look like someone with fire in the head, causing her pain. People have this stupid fucking idea that someone who is on deeply spiritual path, someone who is a good Crafter, someone who is surrounded by spirits (etc) is going to look the good witch Glenda. All smiles and perfect hair and floating around in stylish clothes. This is not always the case.

This is certainly not the case of someone who is being hounded by spirits or abused by a demon.

I have no heroic climax to offer you as an end of my story. I just slogged through one day at a time. I spent a lot of time in libraries, I worked the land, and I struggled to understand what my spirits demanding I learn. I poured every little scrap of strength and energy into my practice. Eventually got my shit together, more or less. It was rather like getting lost in the woods with a broken leg while also being smeared with honey. There’s no rescue crew out there looking for you, so you’ll have to find your own way out of the woods. But kid, if you actually make it out alive you’ll be Chuck Norris. Me? Some ten years later, I’ve set up camp in the edge of woods; I can see the clearing from here but I think I’ll stay put for a while.

We are protecting ourselves. Even if someone can help you, they may not want to take the risk. Getting down and dirty with a nasty spirit might mean it turns its attention onto you. Getting involve din helping someone being cursed might cause the hexer to start throwing at you. If you have kids at home you might be reluctant to help. If you are dealing with some stress and trouble in your own life you might not be in the position to take on helping someone. Once again though, someone in such a situation could still offer some advice, or recommend a book, or suggest someone who can help. It wouldn’t be that hard, now would it? Would it?

Of course, maybe they just don’t give a shit about you. There are plenty of people in the world who wouldn’t help you because they are just rotten people. The Pagan community is full of really awesome people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a few sadistic creeps or apathetic narcissists (and so on) in our midst.

In our society it’s common to blame the victim. If a young person fell into the wrong crowd and got mixed up with drug, then came looking for a way out, are we supposed to turn away? Because they got themselves in that situation to begin with, right? Surely when I went chasing after that Big Impressive Mystery I was asking for trouble. I’ll agree with you on that. Does that mean it was okay to leave me twisting in the wind? It is somehow a Pagan value to leave someone who made a mistake to drown in shit? You brought this on yourself; therefore you deserve to suffer, kid. What if you didn’t do anything to bring the bad situation on yourself? Who’s going to believe that? Who is going to care? It’s so much easier to blame the victim. It’s her own damned fault; let her figure out how to deal on her own. How do you justify leaving a hurting kid to suffer alone? By blaming her for making a mistake? For being vulnerable to attack and abuse by some nasty spirit or asshole ex boyfriend who is now throwing curses at her? You made your bed, go lie in it and NO I am not going to so much as suggest a way to make that bed. No help for you! You don’t deserve help or kindness or empathy or compassion. How is this attitude such a big part of Paganism?

In the Pagan community especially (I can give most Heathens and Witches a pass on this) there is this silly notion that if you never do harm, no entity will ever do harm unto you. This is like a pacifist thinking that no one will ever break into her home and rape her, because she is a pacifist. If you’re a pacifist, you’re a pacifist. I can respect that (even if it makes no sense to me) some of the people I respect most are pacifists. But don’t think for a second that this “I do no harm” thing is going to somehow protect you. Pacifism is not a shield.  Me? I’ll fight.

Therefore, if you are being hurt by something, you brought it on yourself. You didn’t Harm None. Because being bathed in White light keeps you safe. You must have been dabbling in something dark and awful! You deserve no help.

We don’t want to recommend someone from the OTHER PATH. We can’t acknowledge the validity of someone else’s tradition by recommending that you go see them for help. Heaven forbid! I think about some of the people on other Paths here in Ottawa (and other places I have lived) and I bet that if someone came to them for help, they would not suggest they go see me. Not because they don’t think I could help. Because then they’d have to acknowledge my Path actually has some value. That I can do something they can’t. Elitism causes cannibalism, the kind that eats our children. But hey, so long as I’m top dog, who gives a shit?

We don’t know who can help you, or where to find them. Ask around at Pagan Pride Day or something, who is the go-to guy for dealing with nasty stuff? It might be hard to find an answer. This is another symptom of “My Trad is Better than Your Trad”. It’s also a symptom of non belief. Those crazy Hedgewitch-y types actually believe in this stuff? They actually work with spirits? The freaks! They must be playing make believe! Those Ceremonial Magicians summon demons and get them to bend to their will? Madness! Dark Arts! Keep away from me!

Okay, enough calling out the community for not being helpful. I really am trying to be constructive with my criticism, but I know most won’t see it that way. That’s fine. I’m bitter and jaded enough to not care anymore.

What is a person who is in dire straights to actually do?

People who might be able to help you  (if you are being hounded/called by your spirits and they are making you sick/crazy, if you are being abused by a nasty asshole spirit, if you genuinely think you pissed someone off enough to throw curse at you and so forth)

Someone who has experience and a good reputation as:

A shaman

A spirit working or shamanic Witch. We go by many names. Hedgewitch, toad witch, cunning folk, whatevs … Just ask for the Witch who does the crazy stuff, like trance work or spirit work.

A Siedr practitioner

A Voodoo priest/ess

A ceremonial magician

A Hoodoo practitioner

I think you get the idea. Look for the people who actually work with the unseen and walk the grey areas. Those who follow a crooked path, not one that is all love and light. Obviously these people might still turn you away. They might not be able to help you, or might not want to. (A pregnant lady can’t be dealing with other people’s demons) But if they are even halfway competent in their Craft and half way decent human beings, they’d at the very least suggest a course of action for you to take, or point you to someone who can help you, or something. Something! It’s not that hard to suggest a book or website or something. Something! (Please suggest books in the comments. I will make a list and put them in the Hedge’s articles.)

Some things that you can do if you are having troubles with the unseen:

Find a reputable diviner or reader (someone good at tarot or runes for example) and have them do reading or casting to divine what is bothering you, what is the root cause. They may also be able to point you in the right direction for what action to take.

Place protective wards and magicks. Such as witch bottles, witch balls, bundles of protective herbs, inscribing runes and so forth. It’s 101 stuff and yet very few people actually do this seriously.

Cleanse and bless your home and self on a regular basis. I’ll admit I tend to “cleanse only on an as needed” myself but I do hallow my home on a semi regular basis. If something bad were happening, I’d be battening down the hatches.

Don’t bring people home who you are not comfortable with. The same goes for any one else. That means wights and fairies too. What’s the old saying? Never conjure something you can’t throw down with and win like a boss.

Keep one knife sharp and clean and another other dull and icky. Don’t be afraid to brandish one and tell some intruder spirit that “I will cut you and fuck you up. Back off!” Don’t make threats you won’t follow up on though. Would you hesitate to shoot a strange man barging into your kid’s bedroom? Defend yourself if you have to. Coat your blade in power and anger and fear and cut that fucker up.

Ceremonial magick has all sorts of experience with working with all sorts of … entities. It doesn’t hurt to read a little of that stuff even if it’s not your style.

Those old grimories? They are full of that shit. Find them (often free on the internet, people) and read them. There are also people who have written books explaining, or theorizing about, this stuff. You don’t have to master it. Unless you HAVE to master it. But at least take a look at it.

Learn how to curse. Learn how to do harm magickally and energetically so that you can actively defend yourself. Sorry, I am not even going to give the Wiccans a free pass on this stuff. I am sure Grandpa Gerald would agree that you should be able to defend yourself from the dark arts and nasty spirits if it came to it. Sometimes good thoughts and white light is not enough. Actually, it’s usually not even close to enough.

Build a good relationship with deity, the ancestors, your own spirits, the wight in the tree in your yard and so forth. If you really have a strong bond with such, they might protect you or at least give warning.

Have scapegoat-y things. You know the witch bottle, the poppet with you hair in it. Something that will attract bad shit to it and away from you.

Books to read:

Psychic Self-Defence by Dion Fortune

A Field Guide to Demons, Fairies, Fallen Angels and Other Subversive Spirits by Carol Mack and Dinah Mack

Encyclopaedia of Witchcraft & Demonology by Russell H. Robbins

Spirit Possession and Exorcism: History, Psychology, and Neurobiology by Patrick McNamara

The Witches’ Book of Ghosts and Exorcism by Robin Skelton and Jean Kozocari

Psychic Shield: The Personal Handbook of Psychic Protection by Caitlin Matthews

Magickal Self Defence: A Quantum Approach to Warding by Kerr Cuhulain

Monsters: An Investigator’s Guide to Magical Beings by John Michael Greer

Protection & Reversal Magick: A Witch’s Defense Manual (Beyond 101) by Jason Miller

The Secret Commonwealth: An Essay on the Nature and Actions of the Subterranean (and for the Most Part) Invisible People, Heretofore Going Under the Name of Elves, Fauns, and Fairies by Robert Kirk

An Introduction to the Psychology of Paranormal Belief and Experience by Tony Jinks

Carmina Gadelica by Alexander Carmichael

Defences Against the Witches’ Craft: Anti-cursing charms from English folk magick, traditional witchcraft and the grimoire traditions by English root magician by John Canard

Related Links:

They’re Watching You

“Dangerous Knowledge.”

Dealing with Spirits

Related posts:

1. Horned God Devotional
2. To Fly By Night
3. It’s All Rather a lot of Bother

Getting ready for Yuletide; I found tree ornaments that look like fly amanita mushrooms! Writing, working, unpacking, playing Skyrim.

Is the podcast going to keep going?

Yes. Bren put up an episode recently and we hope to get back into the swing of things with the new year.

I am interested in casting objects and divination as spirit communication. Can you recommend some books?

I recommend that you look for books on the divination and spirit communication systems that appeal to you.

My main sources of inspiration were the FUTHARK and the Ogham. There are people who cast personal sets. I come across them from time to time, usually online. Not always though. I lead a workshop on it for Fest one year and a lady showed up with her casting cloth based on Hoodoo concepts.

I’m really rusty in some areas, tarot seems so long ago. I moved on from tarot (because it just wasn’t a good fit) in my early twenties, so about 7 or 8 years ago? I am amazed at what I have forgotten. It’s weird. Or not, since I never really clicked with it. It’s silly but somehow all the imagery, connections and correspondences didn’t make sense coming from a beautifully painted card.

I look at a sea shell and I see much more *shrug* Maybe it because the sea shell is much more tactile?

Any how, here a couple of books:

Wyrdwalkers: Techniques of Northern-Tradition Shamanism by Raven Kaldera

Taking Up the Runes: A Complete Guide to Using Runes In Spells, Rituals, Divination, And Magic by Diana L. Paxson

The Way of the Oracle: Recovering the Practices of the Past to Find Answers for Today by Diana L Paxson

Nine Worlds of Seid-Magic: Ecstasy and Neo-Shamanism in North European Paganism by Jenny Blain

Futhark: A Handbook of Rune Magic Edred Thorsson

I would also suggest you get a book or two on the Ogham and possibly other divination methods that interest you. You might want to have a look at some of the books listed in the answer below as well.

What books should I read?

As well as the books listed to answer the previous question? Mostly it would depend on what you have read before. Plus some books on whatever particular subjects are interest to you. And probably a bunch of stuff that I forgot to mention.

In no particular order:

Carmina Gadelica: Hymns and Incantations from the Gaelic by Alexander Carmichael

The Fairy-Faith in Celtic Countries by W. Y. Evans Wentz

Shamanism: Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy by Mircea Eliade, Willard R. Trask and Wendy Doniger

Galdrabok: An Icelandic Grimoire by Stephen E. Flowers

Understanding the Galdrabok by Greg Crowfoot

The White Goddess by Robert Graves

The Sea Priestess & The Goat Foot God by Dion Fortune

Trance-Portation: Learning to Navigate the Inner World by Diana L Paxson

Shamanism: A Reader by Graham Harvey

The Book of English Magic by Philip Carr-Gomm and Richard Heygate

Plant Spirit Shamanism: Traditional Techniques for Healing the Soul by Ross Heaven, Howard G. Charing and Pablo Amaringo

Cunning-Folk and Familiar Spirits: Shamanistic Visionary Traditions in Early Modern British Witchcraft and Magic by Emma Wilby

The Pagan Religions of the Ancient British Isles: Their Nature and Legacy by Ronald Hutton

Shamans: Siberian Spirituality and the Western Imagination by Ronald Hutton

Herbs of the Northern Shaman: A Guide to Mind-Altering Plants of the Northern Hemisphere by Steve Andrews

Witchcraft Medicine: Healing Arts, Shamanic Practices, and Forbidden Plants by Claudia Müller-Ebeling, Christian Rätsch and Wolf-Dieter Storl Ph.D.

The Way of Wyrd by Brian Bates

To Fly By Night: Craft of the Hedgewitch edited by Veronica Cummer

The Roebuck in the Thicket: An Anthology of the Robert Cochrane Witchcraft Tradition by Evan John Jones, Robert Cochrane and Michael Howard

The Myth of Eternal Return by Mircea Eliade

Hoodoo, Herb and Root Magic by Cat Yronwode

The Well And The Tree World And Time In Early Germanic Culture By Paul C Bauschatz

Ecstasies: Deciphering the Witches’ Sabbath by Carlo Ginzburg

Singing With Blackbirds: The Survival of Primal Celtic Shamanism in Later Folk-Traditions by Stuart A. Harris Logan

Do you own a lot of books? I mean a lot? How do you read all of them?

Yes and no. I have a large portion of my books in storage out west still, as books are heavy and hard to move. If everything was together (especially me fiction, which at this point I think Mom has absorbed into her own collection, sigh) my book collection would be large-ish but by no means massive.

No, I have not read every book from cover to cover. Many to most of my books are reference books, like encyclopaedias. You might skim and browse to know where to find what, but you don’t generally read the whole thing in one sitting.

I’m sure there would be some that I read only partway and put down. This is why you own books, so that you can take you time. I own that book; I can take as long to read it as I please.

Having or reading a lot of books doesn’t mean much. Maybe I barely understand what I’m reading. Maybe I’m human and can’t possibly know everything in a book with one reading *grin*

What’s going on with the prayer shawl, we haven’t heard about it in a while?

It keeps growing. I want it to be fairly large and long and deep hooded. So, it’s going to take a while to crochet. I try not to work on it just randomly but primarily during meditation or prayer etc.

A major part of my spirituality is devotional practice and a major part of my craft is spirit work. A big part of both is ecstasy. Therefore, I spend a lot of time holding vigil. Crochet is something I can do with my hand whilst I hold vigil.

Related posts:

1. The Course of My Studies Part Two
2. The Course of My Studies Part One
3. To Answer a Question

I don’t comment on other people’s blog very much. Because I’m  lazy. However, every now and then I will put together a post of links to articles I find … well I just like them or find them interesting. So here’s a link to the article and maybe a little comment by me below it.

Juniper from Bewitching Names

I am unlike many others in that I am fine with other people having the same name as me. I really don’t have to be that original. I actually had another person in the Pagan community (out here, in Ontario) tell me that I should stop using Juniper because she has used it online and as a stage name before and people might be confused. I didn’t respond.

Adventures in Depression by Ali Brosh

Get well soon Champion of the Internet!

Under the Ancient Oaks: Hoofprints in the Wildwood

Yay! A book review!

Let’s Talk About Necromancy by Sarah Lawless

Sarah always defines things much clearer than I could. Probably because I put very little thought into defining things clearly.

New World Witchery Podcast 36 – Dealing with Spirits

Corry and Laine offering some good introductory tips for meeting with spirits.

“Dangerous Knowledge.” by Scylla

This article shamed me, because I have been holding back on a post on the subject of being ridden and hounded by spirits and not-so-nice-things. Maybe I will post it after all.

How I Accidentally Became A Toadwitch. by Scylla

I came home from work the other day and my room mate says “I found this crazy ritual online where you crufiy a toad!”  and so began a rather long and fun conversation on things that are not Wicca 101. Then, like the very next day, this article pops up in my feed reader, so I forwarded it to my room mate.

Deconstructing Seid: A Form of Magic in Norse Paganism By Franco Bejarano

Seid magick fascinates me. Really. It especially gets all my Anglo-Saxon blood running hot.

Introducing my collection casting system by Patch

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!  I love seeing people take an idea and run with it and make it theirs! *dances*

Related posts:

1. A Little Reading for Thanksgiving
2. The Phony Reading
3. To Fly By Night

When folks come over and inquire about the macaroni in the offering dishes upon my house shrine I act like it’s no big deal. I just made too much and so I gave it to my spirits. It gets a little more complicated to explain that I am expected by my spirits to make too much and give them their fair share. That I keep their offering bowls small because they expect them to be filled.

It’s all rather a lot of bother.

Spirit work and devotional practice that is. A bother. That’s why it’s called work and practice I suppose.

Years ago, I was researching medicine bags and crane bags and the like. I came across something talking about Native American shamans and their relationship with their medicine bags, and with the spirits within their medicine bags. For some, they had to sing a specific song for each item/spirit in the bag before opening it. Over the years the bag would acquire more and more items. When they died, they might pass their bag onto someone else, who would have to learn the songs for all the spirits in the bag. Then start collecting their own power objects and familiar spirits and sing songs for them as well. Sometimes it gets to the point that it takes well over and hour to sing all the songs required before the shaman can even open the fucking bag and get to work.

Then there’s the need to take care of a big-ass heavy bag full of precious objects and spirits who want you to sing yourself hoarse before they will work with you.

Imagine being a slave to your medicine bag.

Welcome to one of the less glamorous aspects of being a Hedgewitch.  The bother. The expectations. The schedule that must be kept. The building and maintaining of relationships with entities that some people don’t even think are real. Booyeah.

Have I ever mentioned that I’m a little afraid of my casting collection? No? Heh. Well, maybe wary is the better term for it. I am wary of becoming a slave to it … because, well, all 30-odd pieces want me to sing to them. Fortunately, the pieces of my casting collection are/is kind of a hive-mind (that’s the best that I can explain it, like a bee colony or ants or something) so I think one song for all might make them happy.

But if I start singing for them, who else will want a song? The casting collection’s main job is translation and communication with my spirits. If I singing to the collection, will the ancestors get jealous and want a song? What about everybody else? Oh, and HE already wants me to play the bloody tambourine for Him, no matter how poorly I play (and I do play poorly). Have I mentioned that I’m a terrible singer? Maybe I can negotiate for more poorly played tambourine instead of having to write/divine and sing chants?

Just the care and feeding of the casting collection alone is a lot of work. Pieces leave as they wish, choosing when to fall out of my hands or bag and disappear into the weeds and grass, or to roll away and drop off a pier or go under a bookcase. I do sometimes choose when to retire a piece and sometime they ask. But rather a lot of the time I simply open the bag one day to discover one of the pieces is gone and I never got to say goodbye.

Then I have to go through the process of finding a replacement, then prepping it, introducing it to “the group”, blessings, charging, blooding. Then I have to learn how it speaks and what it says and how it works with the other pieces, while they are all still figuring that out themselves. The hive mind has changed slightly. I’m kept always on my toes. It’s always changing, I am always learning, there is no chance to simply memorize meanings and then rest on my laurels.

The collection (it’s such a great example and a large part of my practice lately) likes to be warmed up a bit before casting. I usually do this by giving the bag a gentle shake (think like how you bounce a baby) and holding the pieces in my hands, gathering them up together. I’ve gotten good enough to chatter inanely to others while doing so. Somehow making it obvious that I must greet the pieces and cajole them to work earns me funny looks.

That’s a whole other bother … fellow witches and pagans who don’t get it. Who think that it all must be done elegantly, flowing and … and not weird. Do something odd or awkward like blowing on your divination set or baby talking to a crow skull and all your validity goes right out the window in their mind. Nevermind that fact that the elegant shit is just for show and the spitting, swearing, shaking, whispering, sweating, bloodletting, pissing and such is the real deal! It’s supposed to look like the white witch on TV with her perfectly rhyming poetry and not the crazy voodoo chick with her eyes rolling back into her head on that documentary we watched once … right? Bullshit.

Anyways …

The collection like all my spirits (great and small) likes scared smoke. A favourite offering. Incense is probably the most commonly given. As other than possibly annoying the girl up stairs with the constant smell of sandalwood or juniper berries burning on a hot coal it is pretty easy. But the other kinds of smoke makes them happier, is somehow more nourishing. Because it is shared I think. Put it in your pipe and inhale, fill you lungs, then breathe it out onto/into them. Sharing not just the smoke but your breath as well. From deep within yourself. A gift of self, smoke and energy. There are many different types of smoke that can be used, some more legal or safer than others. Some of my spirits have preferences. The casting collection likes all kinds of sage but especially salvia divinorum, what a surprise. But that’s for special occasions. Usually.

Others have a thing for tobacco, especially cigarettes. Because they know that I am addicted. The fuckers. I quit smoking about 6 years ago. But I do it for them now and then. I light a cig or buy some good tobacco for my pipe. I inhale (of course whether I inhale or not depends, you don’t inhale when smoking a cigar for example) and I share it. I fight the cravings the day after. I never do it in the home because the smell will drive me crazy. I never touch tobacco, of any sort, except in ritual situations. It’s becoming more and more like a geas (or geis, but I like the Scottish spelling myself).  As if I need another one. At least this one only makes me look odd once in a while, such as when the girls are digging through a box of herbs and hands me a bag of “incense” tobacco and I drop it, or quickly hand it off. Lame excuse: I quite smoking and I stay away from it now. But Juni, it’s not like smoking tobacco or cigarettes. Yes, but still … here take this.

*sigh*

At least the food related geas handed to me by the Big Guy can be passed of as a food allergy!

I’m starting to ramble a bit I think so I’ll get to the point. It’s fucking WORK people. Really real work. It amazes me how often a god or spirit taps on someone’s shoulder, gives them some tiny sign and they … do nothing. They sit around and wait for another tap, another sign. Then wonder why nothing is happening.

A large portion of the castings that I do with my collection are for people who want to know what they should do on their Path, which spirit(s) they should work with. The answer is almost always the same: Do the work, you haven’t done enough. Why yes, there is a god/spirit/ancestor who has an interest in you, but you haven’t earned anything more than that yet. Do the work, make the offerings, do you research. For a  long while.

Most people I talk to give up a month or three after that first tap on the shoulder. But Juniper! I gave him/her/it offerings once a week for three whole months! That’s it? That’s all? My spirits demand at on offering every single fucking day kiddo. Or they won’t talk to me. That’s just for maintenance. If I want real help or real knowledge they want blood, sweat and tears on a regular basis.

I’m going to be an annoying egotistical bastard and quote myself:

 “…There is no such thing as “good enough” in a spiritual practice, especially when that “good enough” means you did next to nothing at all. A spiritual Path is not supposed to be easy and the gods don’t like lazy people.

The gods, spirits and ancestors do not reward people who do not do the work to earn their respect. If you want to develop a relationship with the Otherworld and the Spirits of the Land you have to earn it. You cannot simply show up with your hand out expecting a prize, for no work, like a spoiled child.

… You cannot expect your ancestors, people who fought battles with swords, who pushed horse drawn plows, who would walk many miles to the yearly feast grounds, to give you long lost lore for nothing. What we must look like to them, we who are so spoiled and pampered that we whine and complain when the processional to the ritual is longer than 3 city blocks. How can you ask for their aid, protection or knowledge when you are willing to do little more than pour half a bottle of cheap whisky out to them once in a while?

The processional for the Eleusian Mysteries in ancient times took a whole day.”

I’ve spent the whole month of August and the first 10 days of September plying my spirits with food and drink and prayer and poetry and smoke. I gave them a whole room in the apartment to themselves. I lead a ritual for Lughnasadh for my ritual group and assisted a friend in a devotional and prosperity ritual before my own altar. I spent a good part of last night on my knees, my face pressed against the hardwood flooring.

In return, last night I was given a dream. I dreamed that I was in a lodge in the woods. There was a gathering of witches there. They formed a circle, sitting, standing, kneeling around it. My casting collection was scattered around the edge of the circle. They were trying to divine something. One witch made a valiant effort but in vain, the information did not come. They turned to me. They wanted me to try. I dug in my heels. I could do it but I didn’t want to do it in front of them. They’d all look at me like I’m crazy. It wouldn’t work if I did it in flowing elegance and perfect poetry. This isn’t Wicca, this isn’t Druidry. This isn’t even religion. It’s witchcraft.

I step towards the circle. I stomp and shuffle. I rock back and forth. I wave my arms around. I make guttural sounds. My eyes roll in my head. The witches look on as if I am crazy. I hear them whisper, is she faking? Is she putting on a show? Why is she being so weird? I rock even more, I stomp around. I am wild and unpredictable. I fall on the floor within the circle, on my back. One arm raised behind my head.

Suddenly my spirits are there. They show me a new technique for slipping out of my skin. I am not permitted to share it with you here. But it works. They show me twice to make sure I know it. Then they wake me up so that I will remember. My hard earned reward for the last 6 weeks of work, a gift. Precious. I look forward to many months, maybe years, of practice to get it right.

There are bruises on my knees. Blisters on my feet. Burns on my fingers. My house reeks of a dozen different kinds of incense, the lady upstairs makes a point of coughing in an annoyed manner every time she is in the stairwell.  There is beer in the fridge that I will not drink, except a sip for sharing. I’m tired and my head feels like it is stuffed with cotton. I have to go to work today.

Welcome to walking the hedge, bitches.

Also: this.

Related posts:

1. Horned God Devotional
2. Defence Against the Dark Arts (When You are Locked Out of the Circle)
3. Are You Scared Yet?

I wear my heart on my sleeve. It just so happens that my heart belongs to my Craft, my gods and my spirits.

Oh dear.

Shall I back up a bit?

I was chatting with a fellow Witch about a common problem that faces those of who delve into the … more intense … parts of Witchcraft and Paganism.

You meet someone, or (better yet) have a friend, who is interested in your Craft. They want to be introduced to Witchcraft, or your style of it. They probably aren’t total newbies; they might be practising Pagans or follow a more straight and narrow form of Witch-y goodness. But they have an interest in the crooked path, Hedgewitchery, spirit work or some such. I don’t necessarily mean something like an apprentice; this also applies to simply sharing with a friend.

So you open up a bit and let them in.

If you’re used to being kinda alone, like most of us (hmmm wonder what’s behind all the blogging?) then you might make the mistake of going too fast. You get all excited that you have someone to share with and open up the flood gates, and then suddenly, they are looking at you funny and edging away.

It’s easy to sound crazy or weird; it’s easy to say something that sounds awfully different to someone else’ ears. Some of the stuff is not the ribbon laden, safe, feel good stuff you might find in other practices and trads.

A risk you take as you show people what you do and how you do it is rejection. You might loose a friendship because you’re suddenly not compatible or you freaked out a friend.

I recently gifted a younger Witch with a crow’s foot. I explained to her about the spirit that was attached to the foot (the deceased crow) and what caring for him would entail. One thing I said was “He likes to be called a pretty bird” This earned a laugh from a sister Witch who was witness to the exchange. I don’t begrudge her an involuntary laugh, it wasn’t meant to be disrespectful. It does sound rather silly doesn’t it?

Part of being a spirit worker is finding yourself doing and saying the oddest things with 100% (or at least 75%) seriousness. When I preen the feathers of my crow fetish I often recite “What a pretty bird you are, such a pretty bird, look at the pretty bird!” and so forth. As if I was some crazy old lady crooning to her pet parakeet. But the fact of the matter is that I have yet to meet a bird (spirit) who didn’t absolutely love being spoken to this way, especially Crow (capitol “c” deliberate) and crow spirits (as in the spirits of deceased crows). Maybe a more stereo-typically elegant bird might find it beneath his dignity, I’m not sure if I’d try to same tactic on Eagle if ever I met him! Actually, I probably would try it. What the hell, he might enjoy it just as much.

If it works and they like it, I’m going to do it.

Of course plenty of people don’t believe in magick or spirits etc … In which case, I must look especially crazy. Ah, well.

Then there’s the people who are going to freak out over the whole crow skull and feathers thing that is my Crow fetish. (The skull isn’t real)

But it’s not like that always happens. Especially if you move at their pace, not yours.

It’s not easy to know how much to share and how soon. It’s hard to know when or when not to answer questions.

Everyone has their own lines and boundaries, and things that they haven’t encountered before. It’s easy to forget that.

And some things are just hard to articulate properly. Some things are experiential. Some things have terrible jargon that makes you sound like a fruit cake.

Not long ago a friend said that if she ever needed to know what to do with a dead crow, she’d call me. I couldn’t help but blurt out “I have such a strange skill set” and I do. It’s not for everyone. I’m lucky that the company I was with that evening were all people who accept me.

It’s good when people can recognize, respect and utilize different skill sets.

This is one reason why I have my public stuff, my private stuff and my very private stuff.

Also why I can be so … brightly coloured and candy coated (aside from being a Gemini that is, you know how we are)

Sometimes I meet another Witch who I know is well versed and well practiced, one  whom I am sure could give me a run for my money, and what I feel from them doesn’t match up. I might (for example) get a wall of average, a surface of being nothing more than a typical soccer mom. When I meet such a Witch and do not feel as if I sit in a room with another spirit worker or hedge walker (or what have you) I do not dare assume this means that they are full of shit. That they are faking being a serious Witch.

Oh no.

To quote an episode of National Geographic I once saw:

“The most effective and dangerous predators are those who are well camouflaged and who can remain hidden until they are nearly on top of their prey.”

Some folk’s camouflage consists of Capri pants and a cheerful disposition. When I encounter them, those Witches are treated with equal parts of respect and caution.

Anyways …

Be like an onion. Slowly peel back the layers. Respect their layers. Hopefully it works out.

Confidential to D:

If I find I am near the line between what I can share and what I should not, the easiest answer for me is “I dunno” or “I forget” or “I’m not sure” then shrug and trail off. But I don’t mind looking like a fool.

Confidential to V:

You’re not alone. And you should send them this post.

Confidential to C:

Who’s a pretty bird? You are! Yes you are! Such a pretty bird!

Related posts:

1. Horned God Devotional
2. Defence Against the Dark Arts (When You are Locked Out of the Circle)
3. Flavour of the Month: Secrets!