Skinny Girl
I used to be skinny. Downright thin as a rail. NO, I wasn’t anorexic or bulimic, though I was constantly accused of such. Being thin just runs in my family. I had a women’s body and a teenage boy’s metabolism. It slowed down, thankfully in my midtwenties.
This is how Nature made me
But from my early teens to my mid-twenties (and sometimes still) I was bullied, abused and attacked for being thin. Surprised? I bet you are. Skinny women are perfect and everyone loves them, we are so attractive right? Well, that what everyone thought. Which is why they were cruel to me.
I’ve had girlfriends be so angry that I fit a size two dress that they stormed out of the store and refused to speak to me ever again.
I’ve had co-workers follow me to the bathroom to see if I purged my lunch,
I’ve had snide remarks and insults thrown my way for ordering a full meal in front of another woman picking at a salad.
I’ve been told that I am not a real women, because real women have curves.
I’ve had women ask me (in front of a whole party) if I had… Continue reading
A Quick Message From the Otherside
I spent a good portion of the weekend doing castings, reading and just communicating with the spirits in general. It’s the New Year, after all. Also the casting collection got rebirthed over the holidays (blogs post about that to come) so I needed to do a little work with it.
I have a back log of writing due to computer issues, but I hope to get all caught up over the next week.
Any how, this one is supposed to be quick which is why I am boring you with it now.
Last night I tried something a little different. I sat on a High Seat and did a casting. Holy Shit!
This is a public service announcement!
My question: I asked my spirits what they wished for my blog readers (and friends and podcast listeners and etc) to know?
The answer:
Poor self esteem, self doubt and lack of self worth is like walking around on a broken leg.
The approval and acceptance of others does not heal a broken leg. It only acts as a crutch. Yes, it’s easier to get around on a broken leg with a crutch, but the leg is still broken.
Tearing down other… Continue reading
Defence Against the Dark Arts (When You are Locked Out of the Circle)
A young woman contacted me a while back asking for knowledge. Not some Craft secret or anything. What she wanted to know was why. WHY?
You see, she had spent the year or two (or more) being harassed by what we shall call a (demon) nasty asshole spirit. She hadn’t done anything in particular to attract such a beastie. She’s not sure when it found her, but she thinks it started with nightmares that kept her up at night and by the end of it, she was a mess. Depression, lack of sleep, couldn’t really eat. The joy of life being sucked out of her, strange obsessions and compulsions. The constant feeling of being watched.
It wasn’t a mental illness, it wasn’t a physical illness and she wasn’t playing games or looking for attention.
She searched high and low for help and found none. She lives in a large-ish city in the USA, a city with a thriving Pagan community. Yet, there was no help for her there. She went to bookshops and asked for help. She went to Meet & Greet Coffee Cauldron type events and found no help. She went to the local teaching coven… Continue reading
I am the 99%
I was born into a working class family in one of the best countries on the world. We struggled mightily after the divorce; Mom went back to school while cleaning rich people’s houses. The government didn’t consider making dead beat Dads pay a reasonable amount of child support on time to be a priority. Sometimes Christmas dinner came from the food bank. We lived in a ramshackle house heated with a wood stove and a kitchen sink that drained into a bucket.
I was teased and bullied by the well-to-do kids at school for having thrift store clothes and plain or subsidized lunches, because that is what they were taught by their parents.
I tried my very best at school and did well in some subjects but failed utterly in others. I was told this was because I was a bad and lazy child. It turns out that I had learning disabilities that should have been receiving treatment and help so that I could succeed. Because my mother was often working two jobs to keep a roof over our heads she could not badger the school and be an advocate for me. The schools refused to accommodate the… Continue reading
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