The Ramblings and Wanderings

Archive for the ‘A Sense of Humor’ Category

I am 29 years old, well travelled, well worn, know what the meaning of hard work is etc etc but I am also not in my Mother phase. I still like to stay up late and dance, play loud music, be silly and giggle and such.

I am not a kid, I find it very difficult to socalize with students and other girls in their twenties and Maiden phase because they are still very much “kids” the biggest concern being getting drunk or borrowing money from daddy to pay the rent or something … And I’m too mature for them and feel like a stick in the mud or like some kind of older sister playing babysitter.

But most of the women in my age group who aren’t still girls are Mommies. I find it just as difficult to socalize with them, first off they tend to act like there’s something wrong with me for not being married with no kids, and they aslo seem to have nothing going on but being Mommy. I have nothing to contribute to conversations about losing the baby fat or potty training. Also I am too immature for them! Too loud, to rebellious, too bold and daring, too silly.

I belong no-where. I’m stuck in the middle with no (in real life, not online) friends.

It sucks!

Poor me.

Don’t say anything negative

Don’t rock the boat

Don’t weed the garden

Just let Paganism get over grown

*

You have to stay positive

Even when it’s stupid

Just smile and sing

Even if it’s boring

*

Don’t go looking

For anything harder

Don’t think any deeper

Paganism 101

Is all we have to offer

*

We’ve got next to nothing

For your generation

We never once thought

The kids we raised on this stuff

Would one day find it quite stale

Might find the worry and bother

Over lighting right colored candles

To be redundant and pale

*

So shut up kid

Don’t you complain

Offering more than Wicca 101

Seems like such a pain

*

Just study the same subjects

Again and again

See how it’s just a little different

Each and every time?

We are satisfied

You’re not

And we don’t know why?

It seems my rather controversial article  “Where Have All the Gardners and Crowleys Gone? (An Answer)”  has made the Top 20 Essays of 2009 on Witchvox! Which is pretty cool, I think they go by number of reads to decide.

I had opened my email box and wondered why I was getting mail about that one again. Good gods, just as the crap from its original posting had blown over … here we go again!

Maybe I should rewrite it for better clarity? (and maybe fix that one typo that drives me up the wall)  Since so many people seemed to choose to take it the wrong way last time, or missed the point entirely …

Nah, fuck them.

http://www.witchvox.com/

What a picturesque image  …  A cute little bunny, all white fur and fluffy as can be …

“Fluffy Bunny” is a word of many definitions, these are the 2 most common:

Some say a Fluffy Bunny is a cute, young newbie, prancing about the local Pagan events bathed in white light. Someone naïve and overly positive, who thinks the whole world is filled with cute lil’ bunnies and no wolves; a Pagan who bursts with glee at being Pagan and irritates the rest of us with it.

Others say a Fluffy Bunny is the stubborn Pagan who thinks he has all the answers and everyone else is stupid; he kind of guy who never backs down from an argument and is always right.

Fluffy Bunny can mean anything now though. Especially online in forums and chat rooms, this silly phrase has become the catch-all favourite insult of Pagans.

Let’s all fess up; a “fluffy bunny” is whoever pissed you off last.

Modern Paganism must be doing pretty well; it’s gotten big enough that we are developing not only our own slang, but our own slang insults.

Really folks, why couldn’t we just call someone an “ass” instead? “Fluffy Bunny” sounds so stupid, and do we really need to be using it at all? There are plenty of nasty words we can sling at each other when we disagree on some silly point. Words with punch and pizzazz and only two syllables, like “bastard” or “stupid”, MUCH better than referring to a hoppy little rabbit.

I mean think about it, why on Earth are we using such a stupid phrase, are not most of us poets? Surely the Bards in our community could come up with something better.

Come on people, act your age and just call the next person you get into a dispute with a “jerk-face” instead. It’s more honest and less slandering eh.

I have an elderly dog that I cannot leave behind for hours on end, she cannot be kennelled now in her old age, but she is very experienced in ritual and with Pagan groups and events. If I want to attend Pagan events, even outdoor events, I cannot bring her, I cannot even tie her up outside the ritual area. I even have a folding pen, a portable fence where you can set up a min-yard for one or more dogs as a play area out of the way, nope sorry, thats not even good enough most of the time. (see pic at the bottom of this post)

When I ask people get offended as if I just asked something horrible, how dare I want to bring my dog? I think it wouldn’t bother me so much if people didn’t get so uppity and nasty about a simple question. A polite “Sorry, no” will do, I do not need a lecture from someone with their nose in the air.

My dog is better behaved in ritual than most people’s crying, whining, spoiled children, and has attended more rituals than most adult pagans. The few times where I have been able to take her to a ritual, that I did not organize, everyone was amazed at how well behaved she was. Not long ago I allowed by the wonderful community in Winnipeg to bring her into their temple space during a large meeting and lecture. She lay quietly under my chair the whole time and the only distraction she caused was accepting crackers from a couple of kind people.

I guess it just annoys me when people do outdoor or camping rituals and say you can’t bring your dog and then expect you to put up with their kid screaming the whole time. My problem is when people tell me I can’t have my dog because it disruptive and then they let kids cry and be disruptive, if I brought a kid who had a temper tantrum in the middle of the Circle during ritual that would be just fine.

I went to a ritual once where a toddler squatted and took a crap right in the middle of ritual, guess he was being potty trained and we all just had to smile and be nice about it. Heck my DOG wouldn’t do that but she can’t come!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m just using the dog vs kid thing as a comparison, I don’t hate kids and I think they are cute in ritual. I have even, on more than one occasion, donated my soft flannel cloak to a sleeping or chilled child during ritual. But saying that all dogs are not allowed because some are misbehaved doesn’t fly when we allow people to bring poorly behaved children, or bring their poorly behaved selves to ritual.

Especially at outdoor and camping events, wouldn’t it make sense to have the odd dog friendly rite? At least once in a while I’d like to be able to bring my dog along. One reason why I often do not attend the big Festivals and Gatherings is because I cannot bring my dogs with me. My dogs have spent a good portion of their lives going to campgrounds, RV parks and so forth and are very well behaved. My dogs have attended many rituals in my home, on my land and even larger events that I have hosted and made pet friendly.

It simply seems to me that if we have rituals that are kid friendly, why can’t we also sometimes have rituals that are dog friendly and that not be a problem? I have hosted events on my own land where I made clear dogs would be welcome, well in advance, and yet a few people who came got upset and expected us to put them away!

Why are we so unfriendly towards man’s best friend? If we are an Earth Based Religion, Nature Worshippers, why do we not allow animals in our rituals now and then? Our dogs are the part of Nature closest to us, the part of Mother Nature that sleeps in our beds ands warns us of prowlers.

Now as for people who say “I’m allergic to your dog” well I’m allergic to perfume, after-shave, sun lotion and bug spray but I don’t hose people down before rituals. If I get hives after touching your hand during spiral dance so be it. I have no problem with scents; if you wear them I suck it up and deal with it. I don’t expect people to accommodate me. I think that’s why it bugs me when people expect me to accommodate them.

Also, having worked in animal rescue, I know for a fact that hundreds of dogs get put down each month because of allergies. That’s right folks, everyday dogs are surrendered to shelters because their owner fell in love with a person with allergies, and just a few days or hours later that poor dog gets a lethal injection. Having devoted so much of my life fighting for animal rights, there are few things that piss me off more than watching a innocent 2-year-old lab die scared and abandoned at some shelter because his/her master is moving in with someone who is allergic. So while I’m terribly sorry if you don’t want to visit my home because I have dogs, or you may have to camp in an area away from me at the Pagan Festival and I’m sorry you might get a runny nose if my dog walks past you … but dogs DIE because people with allergies get runny noses and red eyes. So take a Benadryl and shut up or I’ll start WWIII on your ass.

Regarding cats, you can’t train a cat to come, sit and stay. Hell you can’t train a one year old human to do that. But my dogs can and will heel, sit, stay and behave on command in ritual. I’ve run a kennel; I have worked in rescue and rehabilitation. I am a freaking DOG TRAINER. I can assure you that my dogs are good. Maybe I could offer to train the Pagan community’s dogs to be good in ritual? Teach a class on it or something…

My dog wouldn’t walk into Circle smoking a cigarette like I’ve seen plenty of people do over the years. My dog wouldn’t answer her cell phone during ritual. My dog doesn’t gossip during ritual. My dog doesn’t laugh at you if you forget your lines while delivering the Charge, my dog doesn’t care if you momentarily forget which way is East.

So, yes once in a while I’d like to bring my dog. You’d like my dogs; they are cute, small-ish and better behaved than most human beings.

Also would you tell a blind or disabled person not to attend ritual because they want to bring their service dog?

Where exactly do other women learn about things such as decorative pillow shams, vs useable pillow cases?

Or the difference between dishes that are just pretty and are not placed in a dishwasher or microwaves vs practical dishes?

Where do women learn about clothes that match and how to judge other women for having socks that don’t match?

Is there a class my mother failed to take me to where we are supposed to learn how to tell if something is an antique or if it will clash with the drapes?

I am tired of feeling like a failure as a woman (and often being treated as such) because these things go right over my head. Is there a crash course I can take to catch up?

Some kind of tomboy recovery center where I can learn all about carpets and stain removal …

I read blogs like Mrs. B’s and feel like a big fat loser. Am I alone in this?

Am I the only woman who practcies domestic magick fixing the toilet or replacing the radiator hose in the car and not making perfect little curtains for the kitchen?