A Sense of Humor

Cat vs Plants

Published April 8, 2011 | By Juniper

So the kitten has developed a need to kill my houseplants. He doesn’t eat them or poop in them. He just drags them out of their pots and spreads the soil around. My cat is an asshole.

I’ve tried the many different ways of discouraging this; such as putting them on a higher shelf. Putting obstacles in his way. Soaking him with the bad cat bottle. Spreading ground herbs such as cyanne pepper and mace on the plant shelf. Nothing is working.

My recently potted baby spider plants and my African violet may not be save-able. The palm might survive. The fern remains untouched, because it is hanging.

I shall have to make more plant hangers, pronto. And I might need to replace some plants.

It might also be time to give the cat a bath. Ahhhhh, sweet revenge.

P.S. Its sweet and I appreciate the sentiment but please don’t email, post comments, or message me about typos and spelling errors. This is a blog, not a thesis. Also many posts will now be made via mobile phone, blame autocorrect if you must.

Posted in A Sense of Humor, Everything Else, Life of a Hedgewitch | Tagged cat, funnies, Life of a Hedgewitch, pets

Happy Irish Heritage and All Snakes Day (aka St. Patty’s Day)

Published March 16, 2011 | By Juniper

There was a green branch hung with many a bell

When her own people ruled this tragic Eire;

And from its murmuring greenness, calm of Faery,

A Druid kindness, on all hearers fell.

It charmed away the merchant from his guile,

And turned the farmer’s memory from his cattle,

And hushed in sleep the roaring ranks of battle:

And all grew friendly for a little while.

Ah, Exiles wandering over lands and seas,

And planning, plotting always that some morrow

May set a stone upon ancestral Sorrow!

I also bear a bell-branch full of ease.

I tore it from green boughs winds tore and tossed

Until the sap of summer had grown weary!

I tore it from the barren boughs of Eire,

That country where a man can be so crossed;

Can be so battered, badgered and destroyed

That he’s a loveless man: gay bells bring laughter

That shakes a mouldering cobweb from the rafter;

And yet the saddest chimes are best enjoyed.

Gay bells or sad, they bring you memories

Of half-forgotten innocent old places:

We and our bitterness have left no traces

On Munster grass and Connemara skies.

~ The… Continue reading →

Posted in A Sense of Humor, Bardic Circle, Celtic, Reviews & Recommendations | Tagged Bardic Circle, Books, Celtic, festivals, inspiring, Wheel of the Year

Crones

Published March 14, 2011 | By Juniper

So apparently I hate Crones.

Because, you know, if I express disgust towards one particular famous Crone and her angry, hate filled, outdated rhetoric. And speak to how I hope that such angry, hate filled and out dated rhetoric might go the way of the dodo bird when she (and people who share her views) passes to the Summerlands some day. Well, then obviously I hate all Crones. In fact I hate the whole generation, and I want them all to die so I can dance delightedly on their graves and then go and build some kind of utopia.

Yep. Totally.

Now of course, those of you who actually know me in real life, and those Crones who know me specifically, are probably laughing your asses off right now. “JUNIPER? Hehehe oh, she’s harmless! She’ll be the first to tell you that she’s a Gemini full of hot air! Hehehe!”

Ironically, just a few days ago I was conversing with a Crone after a ritual celebrating International Women’s Day and she said “It’s strange because you’re so strong and out there and firey online but actually you’re not like that.”

I’m actually pretty cute… Continue reading →

Posted in A Sense of Humor, About Juniper, Community, Life of a Hedgewitch, Paths & Traditions, Rantings & Ravings | Tagged About Juniper, Community, Elders, ethics, funnies, Life of a Hedgewitch, Paths & Traditions, Rants, values

New Addition 2

Published March 6, 2011 | By Juniper

So I found that I had a bit of a problem. I wanted to let the collection rest and soak up some nice sun and moon light for a while. You know, get some air. As well as have the new piece get the chance to mingle with the group and let everyone get to know each other. Only, its still winter here. We got nearly a foot of snow last night! I do not want to make my collection sit on a freezing cold windowsill, its just not very nice.

The sunroom has south facing windows, which when you’re this far north (for you people closer to, or on the other side of, the equator) means that’s where the sun and moon pass by. The sunroom is not heated though. Its bloody cold in there. Its also a mess. All my arts and crafts stuff and my bike and what not are all sort of piled up in there.

The other windows in the house either get no direct sun and moon light or they are within reach of a certain kitten who is going through that “get into everything” stage of development right now.

There is one window… Continue reading →