Walking the Hedge » A Sense of Humor

More Weird Dreams

Juniper — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:34:59 +0000

Last night I dreamed of the second coming of Christ.

Only he wound up in the body of an autistic teen age boy. His family kept him locked in a room in their farm house and was trying to pass off his older (and handsome and Neurotypical) brother as the messiah. In the dream I am a friend of the family and I was trying to free Christ from his “prison” but failing at it. During a visit, he gave me some house plants to tend for him.

This was all happening somewhere in northern British Columbia.

Oh, and the people he was sent to save? A race of sentient Muppets who were being forced into secret slavery by the entertainment industry. So, I snuck into Universal Studios (which for some reason was in BC) and helped Elmo (of sesame street) escape. He became the new Christ’s prophet.

I have a very odd subconscious.

My Back

Juniper — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:15:46 +0000

I hurt my back on Friday night, falling on the ice. Wrenched it trying to save myself. I’ve spent all weekend in rather a lot of pain and have gotten next to nothing done. Last night I was tossing and turning, unable to sleep because of my back.

I finally drifted off to sleep and dreamed of a tree. In my hand was a set of instructions from the tree. I can read in my dreams (though it has taken years of practice, as a child I could not) but it can be difficult to focus. Yes, the ADHD girl even has a hard time focusing in her dreams. *sigh*

Painstakingly I followed the tree’s directions. Water on the this root, clear debris from there, push in that piece of bark, remove that dead stick. I got all the way through the list … and nothing happened. Except I woke up.

And my back wasn’t hurting anymore. Yay!

Also; weird.

Requested RePost: How to Not Fit In

Juniper — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 18:10:28 +0000

Wear socks that don’t match

Especially on Tuesday and Friday

And always with shorts

Wear a wrinkled pink blouse

With a bright red skirt

Red and pink are in the same family

Aren’t they?

Don’t get subtle hints

Be confused by mixed messages

And laugh at inappropriate jokes

Always say what you mean

And mean what you say

Because no one else does it that way

Take everyone at face value

Be open and honest

In everything you do

Having no hidden meaning behind your words

No hidden agenda behind your actions

Is sure to frighten and confuse

Be loud and boisterous in public

Quiet and reserved at home

Have moods that are affected by the weather

Remember to be daring and bold

Always act as if you’ll never grow old

Wave with both hands

Bounce into rooms

Offer everyone a hug

And feel bad when they refuse

Dance when you are happy

And wilt when you are sad

When there is a job to do

Be the first to volunteer

Once people start to gossip

That you’re trying to take charge

Don’t volunteer the next time

And they will complain about that too

Be friendly to everyone

Regardless of this or that

Refuse to take sides in disputes

At least, most of the time

See both sides of a debate

Try to get other people to do that too

It helps if you’re cute

Be more comfortable around pets than kids

Wear pyjamas all day

Don’t go to bed until 2

Read lots of books

Watch too much Star Trek

Be sure to listen to Punk Rock too

Walk widdershins in a Wiccan Circle

Forget which way is East

Write whole Invocations

And don’t remember a word of them

When asked to bring a broom

Show up with a robotic vacuum

Speak your mind all the time

And as for peer pressure

Never give in

No matter they may say

Or how they treat you

Always love yourself first

And promise you’ll never change you!

To Catch a Cat

Juniper — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:08:55 +0000

This is the afgan that I have been working on for ever. All it really needs is to be bordered, fringed and blocked. Blarney goes underneath it and “hides”

Little Random Things

Juniper — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 02:04:02 +0000

I haven’t been up for writing a long and proper post lately, I’ve got stuff going on and all. But I have been writing little bits and pieces of this and that in a word document. Sort of like a series of mini posts or fragments from a stream of consciousness. Well, here they are:

Sometimes it’s annoying when your divination set and spirits keep telling you the same damned thing. Especially when it’s freaking obvious. Yes, I know that, thank you … got anything else to say? No? Uh, well fine, thanks anyways.

You know someone is really into arts and crafts when they stop in mid ritual to chat about an afghan.

I had the girls come over after Bren finished hauling his stuff out to give me a hand. It was kind of like that scene in Practical Magic when they use the phone tree system to call for help. Only I didn’t have a sexy but dead guy possessing my sister. I just needed some help getting off my self pitying ass to move some furniture and clear a little negative energy. I felt bad and tried backing out of it last minute, because you know, why do I deserve help? They came anyways. It’s much harder to remove your own energy than someone else’s; having friends come to blast the shit out of it is REALLY effective. The girls are awesome and they were totally my heroes that day.

I think that I have more motifs made for my Hedgewitchy shawl than I need. I really ought to lay them all out and have a look.

Ever since Lis moved to Toronto my lady cycle has gone all wonky. I need to hang out with someone who has good strong pheromones and a regular cycle LOL

I have eaten steak for dinner almost every night since Bren left. When I haven’t had steak I have had pizza. I find this to be very … uh, soothing … but probably not good for my health. My poor arteries! I should take better care of my heart.

I am just old enough and wise enough to be amazed at how little I know and how poorly I use my knowledge. I do think that this realisation is a step in the right direction however.

People keep telling me how my life in transition right now. I know they say this to be helpful, understanding and kind. But it annoys me. Everything is always in transition. If it wasn’t the universe would fall apart.

There are all kinds of half done projects and things piling up, the podcast, the website, and so on. I feel bad for not getting to them as quickly as I had planned but since my life is “in transition” right now I figure I got a good excuse.

It seems to me that a lot of people think that respecting your Elders means never questioning, never disagreeing and rather a lot of ass kissing. Or possibly acting as if I am somehow less than or lower than. My Daddy raised me to be arrogant and proud … and Mom raised me to be bull headed and out spoken, so I’m afraid I just can’t do that. Sorry.

Also apparently I am wrong to think that an Elder ought to be worthy of, or earn, my respect. Although I am not sure how I am to know if someone IS an Elder in the first place if I haven’t seen them do or say anything deserving of respect? Maybe we should give them little badges to wear and identify themselves with (lol)?

The older I get, the less impressed I am by someone merely because they have grey hair. Hell, I plucked three grey hairs (from down there) today. Yetch.

The first thing I did when Brendan left was smoke a lot weed in the middle of the living room. A fantastic act of defiance. But now I am out, so I am sad.

Quite frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.

I could really, really use a night of good hard fucking with a strong man with rough hands whom I never see again. TMI you say? Fuck you, this is my blog and I’ll post what I want to, so … HA!

I made it through my twenties running on defiance alone; I wonder what will get me through my thirties? Also, how in the hell did I get to 31 so fast????

That big afghan that I have been working on for nearly two years? It is ¾ done. I am using it as if it is done. I look at it every day and think: its way too hot to work on this right now, I’ll get to it another day. Bordering an afghan in the middle of summer in a non-air conditioned apartment is hot and unpleasant. That’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.

Summer thunder storms are AWESOME. Hail Thor! Hail Taranis!

I turned Bren’s office into a ritual room. Wonderful! I will take and share pictures soon.

I got a bed the other day. I now have a real and proper bed to sleep on. That’s much better. Bren was kind enough to come by and hang out while I was at work so that the bed could be delivered.

Had to tell the neighbours in the other apartments that the internet will be cancelled as of September 1st because it’s in his name. Their understanding sympathy was too much for me.

I am tired of crying and having sore eyes and headaches from crying.

Amicable break ups are harder than nasty ones in some ways.

I think Sir Knight has relocated to the oven (Bren took the suit of armour that was Sir Knight’s home as it is his). I am plying him with food and drink and promising to get him a proper spirit house soon. Damn! I need a proper spirit house and soon … and on a tight budget!

I have been re-charging the various protective charms about the place. I am also thinking that it might be time for a new witch bottle.

A goddess statue was knocked over during Bren’s move. Totally by accident and partly my fault for having her in a not so easy to spot location. She/it has lain in state (why not give it a funeral?) and I plan on burying it in the river or on the river bank. It’s a very Celtic thing to do and I am tickled pink by the thought of archaeologists digging her/it up one day.

This is me:

Meanwhile, at Misty Acres

Juniper — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 02:33:22 +0000

Mom is teaching the horses how to levitate.

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