Sooooooo … I take a break from blogging (new job and such) and the bloggosphere goes bonkers, hand wringing over Pagans who cover their hair and the dreaded chubby Pagan. I thought I would offer you guys some better things to fret over. Here goes, in no particular order:
- The rampant boozing. Seriously, we drink a lot. In ritual, around the camp fire, Pagan meet and greets are often held in pubs, whatever. It’s like we are a religion of alcoholics. I’m not against drinking, I like to drink, but seriously, it’s like we are all invested in destroying our livers. I’ve known of groups who swore oaths of non-drinking for a time and it was this Big Deal. I get that booze is a sacred liquid in our religious body, but seriously, WTF?
- How about smoking? Lots of Pagans smoke. You can start forest fires with that shit. Also second hand smoke.
- Bug spray. I hate that stuff. I’m allergic. Don’t fucking hug me when you’re wearing it!
- Pagans who are not environmentally friendly. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen a Pagan leave a ritual all about Mother Earth only to huck garbage into the shrubbery. I want to beat those people over the head with a large and heavy object.
- People who get offended when you don’t want to be hugged and who insist on invading your personal space.
- People who are rude about it when refusing a hug, or who act like you just tried to molest them.
- Pagans who seem to think the world revolves around them. No sweetie, the mass of mosquitoes you stumbled into is not a sign from the goddess that you shouldn’t do ritual here. It’s a low, wet, shaded area and that’s where mosquitoes like to hang out.
- Those crazy as fuck Pagans who think they are reincarnated space elves from planet zooboo.
- The creepy, might be a molester, guy who for some reason we all tolerate.
- Online teachers who charge ridiculous amounts of money to seekers who think that they are going to get special Mysteries and wind up getting a load of crap you can find for free at sacredtexts.com
- Pagans who show up for events and community things, but who never pitch in.
- The idiots who treat vendors like babysitters for their children at festivals and gatherings.
- People who barter with vendors and craftsmen, trying to low ball them.
- The stuck up High Priest/ess type who treats everyone like a lower life form.
- People who fuck in front of children. Seriously, go back to your tent for that.
- People who bring their children to the drumming circle well after bedtime, when things are getting “romantic”
- Pagans who heckle the Bardic Circle, and not in a nice way.
- Pagans who still use the term “Fluffy Bunny”. Ugh, can’t we let that shit die already?
- Pagans who want to white wash everything for public consumption.
Or … you know what? I have a better idea. Let’s talk about how to build community. How to be more inclusive. Let’s talk about the future, like paid clergy. Let’s talk about building temples. Let’s talk about how we can better share knowledge. Let’s talk about how we can grow and mature as a religious body and as a community.
Because you know what? Whether or not someone covers their hair or is overweight doesn’t fucking matter.
Thank you, that is all.