The Struggle
How can finding the right thing to say
Be so simple?
Words drip from their lips
Like flawless pearls
My mouth is full of marbles
The right thing to do
Seems as bright and clear as day
As they move gracefully
And with an inborn ease
While I stammer and stumble with each step
The right thing to wear and the perfect hair
Adorn their elegant bodies
Complimenting style and finesse
Eyebrows delicately raised in response
To my failed attempts at dignity
Did they have mothers
Who were just as refined?
Who taught them manners and propriety
Until it became as natural as breathing?
I cannot help but wonder
If only I had a mother capable of tact
Would I socialize with such
Utter nimbleness?
Intelligent conversation
Sails past my ears
Their words never take a wrong turn
As I struggle not to misspeak
To not interrupt or repeat
Mindless pleasantries surround me
I struggle to maintain a smile
Grateful that they deign
To tolerate my ineptness
At least for a little while
Then I take that inevitable misstep
Exposing my clumsiness
I cringe and shudder
As they cluck their tongues
Gossip behind my broken back
Speak over my bowed head
And assume only the worst intent
Silent tears slip unempathized
Down my burning cheeks
As I silently wish I had just half
Of their shine and polish
Excuse me please
Which way to the can?
I think I am about to have an anxiety attack
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Superficial charm impresses only superficial people. Beauty lies in the depths. True value shines through.
In the words of that great mahatma, Groucho Marx, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” Or, as I have said on more than one occasion, “I’ve been thrown out of better places than this.”
wow…this poem is a piece of art. you have captured the essence of being different, or lacking skills, or what have you….and well. i could feel the images in my bones, having been to those kind of parties with people who just were not that honest, or frankly, tolerant or safe. thank you for this one.
from another standpoint…never take what people present to you on the outside as their inside voice. Show is only that. if you compare your inner soul to that outside show, you will always be lacking or better than. do not buy the glamour, or the social mask, if you will. while they are presenting an image of themselves as strong and together and perfect, i have found that those who are that perfect lie to you and themselves about mistakes and their value. people are truly seldom that perfect. and while they have the right words to say, do they even notice your discomfort, or are they preoccupied with telling themselves that you have the problem, when that is not indeed the one with the problem?
We’ve all been there. And you captured it perfectly.
Beautiful! You use the words so cleverly!
over the years i have become a lot more comfortable with my dorkyness, the social errors that i make and the clumsiness of step and word, but then i found a group of people who are very similar.. and we love each other for such things.. its nice.
*beams, trips, opps tehe*